Sunday, July 22, 2012

Date night our 38th anniversary and thoughts on marriage...

Our 38th anniversary was Friday July the 20th.
We kept it simple and went out for an early dinner as we had both had very busy days...
(I was arranging flowers for the wedding and Mr/ HB was working on the renovation downstairs)
we sipped a cocktail and dined on some some delicious food in one of our favourite local eateries.

Zambri's used to be a tiny hole in the wall in an out of the way spot with almost a cult following of dedicated diners.
Local foodies and chefs were known to frequent the place on their days off and some strayed in after hours to see what was left after the crowds had departed.
It has moved and is now located in the upscale architectural gem, The Atrium building.
The food tastes as good as it did when we sat on mismatched chairs and distressed wooden tables that invariably needed to be leveled with coasters to keep them from wobbling!
Their new decor is state of the art,
crisp linen table cloths,
twinkling lights above a bar
an open concept inside the restaurant and then Atrium space where we sat, which feels airy and bright.

a Tanqueray martini
~ ~ ~
 bread and olives
( I ate one wee slice of bread ~ the olives were a sweet bite of salty heaven)

we shared a Caesar salad

pasta for our main course
mine was penne with gorgonzola and green peas
I've had this many times and I cannot tell you how much I love it.

Mr. HB had pasta with Dungeness Crab Ragu
we took ourselves home 
for a cozy evening watching our new fave show Newsroom by the brilliant Aaron Sorkin.

38 years is a long time plus we knew each other for several years before getting married

We have no secret as to why we have managed to stay married so long
but we ALWAYS celebrate our anniversary
cards always 
gifts optional.

Mr. HB has been very generous over the years 
I have some special pieces of jewelry that he has given me to mark the occasion of our 10th, 25th, and 30th dates.

In earlier times when the children were young and money was tight we'd have our parents take the kids overnight so that we could go out and enjoy a bite of food together. 
Dinner out once or twice a year back then was a real treat.

Things change, 
kids grow up and move out 
and we are fortunate enough that we still enjoy each other's company.
Every evening when Mr. HB comes home from work 
we take the time to sit and chat and catch up on each other's days doings.

I think communication is huge in a marriage.
Sharing dreams and having goals
planning ahead
working side by side
in the house and in the garden 
never taking the other for granted
compliments go a long way ~ they must be genuine and heartfelt
apologizing when you know you are wrong
sharing laughter
are all things that we have worked on to keep our marriage strong
I do think there is luck involved
we were fortunate enough to meet in our teens
 still surrounded by friends that we grew up with 
who are also long time married folks
probably helps a lot...

I highly recommend this restaurant
it has won many awards
and we have never been disappointed by the service or the food.

Do you have a special place that you like to go?

If a young bride were to ask you for tips on the longevity of marriage what would you say?


  1. Happy Anniversary Hostess and congratulations on the incredible accomplishment with your husband!

  2. Oh my - Having been married 4 times, I don't think anyone would ask for my advice on that subject. I love that you met so young, grew up together and have such long time friends from those days. Must be so lovely to have so many shared memories with a group. Congratulations on such a long and happy relationship and may you share many more anniversaries. Can't believe you didn't have dessert though!

  3. Congratulations on 38 years. I've copied my daughter on your blog today as she and her boyfriend are going to be married soon. As I've had 3 marriages, I don't feel like the best authority on marriage, but I think your blog is a wonderful summary of a great relationship.

    I hope you and Mr HB have many more great years together.

  4. I'd give advice, despite my lack of qualifications.
    - Make sure you have chemistry
    - Make sure you are each proud to be with each other
    - Understand that life is hard work, and you need a partner willing to pull their weight while you pull yours

    Maybe that's good advice, but of course I can't be sure:).

    Congratulations again on your anniversary.

  5. Hearty Congratulations Hostess and Mr HB.
    We will be celebrating our 30th soon, I'm amazed we've lasted the distance and that's the honest truth.
    Marriage can be hard work for many reasons and I firmly believe the willingness of both parties to compromise and be flexible is key to lasting the distance.
    The first 12 months of marriage in particular were a steep learning curve!

  6. Congratulations on your anniversary once more!
    Thirty-eight years is a an achievement, as you well know. Looking back now, I´d suppose, you´d agree that all those years passed quickly.
    What I´d like to say to a young couple, ready to get married, is that give each space, have patience and be flexible.

  7. Happy Anniversary to you and to Mr HHB. We know Zambri's well - I remember first visiting at the old location during a Phantom Dinner (do you remember those - so much fun!) more than a few years ago!
    Tips for a young married? I believe you quoted me favourites.

  8. Congratulations! And what great advice... love it. x

  9. Zambri's is very close to my son and DIL's condo, so we end up there often when we're visiting -- I also love that Gorgonzola & Peas penne. Delish!
    Congratulations on your 38th anniversary! We're so lucky, aren't we!

  10. I've actually never had a great dining experience at Zambri's, how weird! But I know a lot of people who love it.

    Congratulations on 38 years, wow!

  11. Wow congratulations! I just worked out that I'll be 73 by the time we get to 38 years.

  12. Happy Anniversary! I loved your post. Your evening sounds lovely. Your advice so true. Thank you.

  13. Happy Anniversary!
    We've been married 34 years and dated for 5 before getting married.

    My daughter got married this weekend and our toast to the couple summed up our prescription for a long and happy marriage.
    Respect one another...even if you think they don't deserve it.
    Commitment means just for the duration.
    Kindness...even if it feels like its killing you.
    Patience and compromise goes into the mix as well.
    Of course you must choose carefully and luck of the draw helps too!!

    1. Leslie - My recommendation - Don't marry the person you could live with - marry the person you could not live without! Peg - married almosst 52 years - happily!

  14. Think your advice says it all.Wishing you many more Happy times together.Ida

  15. Congratulations on your wedding anniversary!

    My husband and I have been married 8 years; I'm nearly 41 and he's 47 1/2. It's our first marriage. I have to say a good marriage starts before you tie the knot: marry a friend with whom you will partner to realize common goals. Your values will shift a little over time, and so will your interests. But if you have common goals that enable you to sacrifice and give a little here and there, that will unite you. Having counseled married couple for the last four years through their financial difficulties, the ones who have strong marriages are those who work together for an agreed-upon outcome, no matter how much money isn't in the bank. The ones who fight and are contentious are those who do not share a common goal, no matter how their values may align.

  16. Congratulations, Hostess and Mr. HB. You've pretty well nailed any advice I'd give for a great marriage. Mutual respect sort of sums it up. We're celebrating 35 years today.

  17. Happy Anniversary, Hostess!!

  18. happy anniversary to you and the mr. i think if more people knew how nice and comfy a relationship gets in the long run, they'd hang in there through the tough stuff.

    that would be my advice. hang in there, don't be afraid of conflict, you will both grow and be better people b/c of it. and what's the alternative? divorce and guess what? you'll just remarry someone with other issues you have to learn to deal with.

    so congrats and way to hang in there!

  19. Hmmmmmmm. My advice: it's not about WINNING (arguments etc) when you are on the same side.

  20. Love anything with green peas, such a simple and childhood food but so nutty and satisfying

  21. Happy Anniversary! We also met young, threw caution to the wind married
    after two years of college then completed our educations. We will be celebrating 57 years next month. As for advice the secret is that there is no secret. A grandson asked for advice at his wedding, and my sweet husband said" live life to its fullest."

  22. Happy Anniversary! We just celebrated our 38th. I would say to always have a date night even when you have kids. And to keep on talking, laughing, and doing fun things together. And both partners caring about the other's happiness. Sounds like you had a great celebration. I love going out for a special dinner on my anniversary!

  23. Happy Anniversary...the evening sounds wonderful. Isn't it marvelous to enjoy your spouse over so many years? You are both very fortunate ~ that is the way that my marriage was also and I will feel forever blessed.

  24. Congratulations. What an inspirational post. I think it's what most of us aspire to, a lifelong partner to be able to appreciate and who appreciates us. It's wonderful.

  25. Beautiful and inspiring post! Congratulations on 38 years! I think I would agree with you...communication is so important. And honesty of course. Your pasta dish looks delish...I'm sure it never disappoints.