Mothering has offered me so many benefits beyond feeding and diapering.
I am eternally grateful that I was able to be a Mom.
It has been such a huge part of my life...
Tears well up when I recall past events or look at their baby pictures.
I turn to mush.
They grow up so fast and when they leave the nest it is painful to see them go...
knowing that my job was done and that time of my life was over and done with was not without sadness...
sure there would be new beginnings and opportunities would present themselves, but it's not quite the same.
In the quiet moments of solitude over a mug of steaming tea I often go back to those busy days,
the house littered with toys
mounds of laundry waiting to be washed and folded
cookies to bake
lunches to be packed
baths to be drawn
bedtime stories
hugs and kisses
the goodnight bed bug song before lights out...
Was it really so long ago?
It seems like yesterday and my heart is full with wonderful memories
and yet sometimes in the space that happens "in between" moments...
I feel an ache that goes very deep
and it startles and humbles me by it's sheer power.
Spending time with my adult children is so precious
I feel honoured to be invited into their homes.
I love how they have turned out.
Last weekend we were invited to our son and lovely DIL's for dinner
which meant there would be playtime
Isla = hours of grammy good times = LOVE
talk about tugging at my heart strings!
I snapped a few pictures and video's which were emailed off to friends near and far.
Who have responded with oohs and ahhs...thanks guys for indulging me my bragging "grammy time."
The other afternoon our darling daughter called and asked if she could come over and watch The Batchelor
(the ritual mother/daughter show)
and cook us a Thai dinner...
well that's a no brainer...
I'll be the sous chef,
bring it on!
Oh it is so delicious
Thai jasmine rice
Le Creuset wok full of Thai tasty goodness...
chicken, peppers, beans, coconut curry...
so amazing that I had seconds.
(sadly it's not low cal)
We enjoyed cooking together and critiquing the Batchelor
there is always so much drama!
I wonder if Ben the winemaker will find a wife?
Downton Abbey was fabulous
I just wonder how that housekeeper sleeps at night!
"Modern Family"
is a relatively new favourite of mine
such a great cast and the episodes always make me laugh.
If you are a mom and your kids have left home...
do you still hear their voices,
and listen for their footsteps on the stairs?
Sitting here in the glow of the candlelight
I reflect on days gone by....
while a new life has been born
Welcome to Rose Ashley
lovely DIL's BFF has become a mom!
I feel that great things are on the horizon
sincere congratulations
the circle expands
we are all in this miracle of birth and life together....
Sleep well mom and babe....
know that you are in our thoughts and hearts tonight...
46 comments:
Oh that dinner looks delicious.
What a lovely insight into your life as a mum, my mum is just the opposite, she always said "don't have children they will ruin your life" I think in a different day and age she would have been a very successful career woman, I don't think she was happy at home being a mother. She has always hated when grandchildren and great grand children come to visit yet she has been extremely loving to me and even at 90 she gives me so much support in life.
Whenever I see my daughter, which is pretty often, I still get an ache when we say goodbye, and I realize, once again, that she's not coming, or staying home with me.
How beautifully you write, Leslie. Writing in behalf of us mothers around the world.
You are so lucky to have your family living close to you, being in good terms with everyone, and to meet them even weekly! Thank you for your post.
P.S. BFF = ?, a silly question?
I second what Mette said, you do write so beautifully and straight from the heart. That is a gift. I look at the beginning of a moustache on my 14-year-old son's upper lip, and can't believe how quickly the time has gone since he was just a baby.
Mette - BFF = Best Friends Forever (I believe?)
A lovely post. As a mother of a grown daughter I cherish those mother/daughter moments together. Sigh. Yes, I sometimes long to hear the giggles upstairs. Bonnie
Beautiful post . . . thoughts, memories, food, son, daughter, grandchildren. It makes me think of my own and who they have become in their adult life. I loved the mood your writing brought to my day . . .
I sigh sometimes, too, thinking of the years of active mothering that are now past. Being a Nana is a new phase of life and so much fun, but different.
When, on the rare occasions when all three of our children (and spouses and grandbabies) spend the night under our roof, my heart wells up in gratitude. It is then that I am utterly and completely replete with joy.
motherhood is the hardest job i've ever had. and btw, the best.
xo
janet
A lovely reminiscence. I took one of my 24 yr old sons out recently for 'real' hot chocolate. Seeing him, mouth wreathed in the rich drink, his big smile, the years fell away and he was six again, enjoying his outing with maman. I had children late and am indescribably grateful it happened. And they keep delighting us, don't they?
*sigh* :,-)
I have never commented before today, but you made me cry, Leslie, and I believe that the emotive power of your words needs to be acknowledged. I seldom have all my children under our roof anymore but when I do, I am filled with such strong feelings of happiness and completeness.
Fernwood Leslie
My girls are still at home, but they will headed off on their own before long. I am savoring the time we have together under one roof. They are my greatest treasures and like you I can cry just conjuring memories. Your post was beautiful - like poetry.
Please deliver me curry. I am salivating at the thought.
I don't have children, but am trying my hardest to acquire one, so am not qualified to comment.
Oh God, that's all I do lately - miss the kids and wonder where the time went. Then feel guilty if I don't think about them for a day, when once they were my entire universe. I really miss the mom time, and no matter how often people tell you to 'enjoy it - it goes by fast', you can't really know what it's going to be like to miss them when you are in the throes of everyday motherhood. They were all here for Christmas and it was wonderful. I'm glad I'm not the only lunatic who has these sweeping moments of missing the kids.
You are such a beautiful writer. This post is so thoughtful. My kids are still at home and I treasure each day. It sounds like you have a wonderful relationship with your adult children...and that's what it's all about. Your daughters dinner looks delicious!
xo
annie
I loved those years, difficult as they were, with the kids small enough for me to look after them. And I love spending time with them now -- they're really such great people, as are their partners. I can't truly say that I mourn those days of their childhood, nor did I find it painful when they left home. It seemed natural, inevitable, and even rather exciting to watch them go through those steps. And I made career changes I hadn't been able to before. I do marvel, though, at how quickly it seemed to pass and how clearly I'm past that stage when it seemed to define me for so long.
Aren't you lucky to have yours so close by? And that sweet little granddaughter!
I waited so long for my children that I enjoyed all the young years - stayed home for all of that time and felt so privileged to do so. When the time came for them to fly off on their own I had a twinge, but mostly a feeling of pride in what they and I had accomplished. Being a grandmother has been like the opening of a door on a scene that, while familiar, is just different enough to delight.
Mater. I have to agree with the part of your comment, where you wrote about not finding it painful, when your children left home. I think that, that is how it really should go. Our children are only a gift we have had, and it is only natural, that the day comes, when they want to live on their own. It is our ( as parents ) responsibility to help them " fly " out of the nest. Just like in animal kingdom.
Sometimes things only do not go this way.
Kathy, thank you.
My daughters are 31 and 28 years old. The older one just got married in June and we love having a new member in the family with our adorable son-in-law. Being an empty-nester is challenging at first, but I think we reinvent ourselves in this new chapter of life, and I am super busy with many activities. But the best thing of all is when they come over for dinner or we go to their house. And my two daughters and I are going on a mother-daughter trip soon! I am so happy to get the opportunity to spend so much quality time with the two of them. Congratulations on your new grand child. How exciting and what a great stage in your life!
Tabitha- I know from our emails and your blog posts that you and your Mother share a very special bond, not unlike the one I share with my Mom.
Oh we are on the same page Kathy!
mette- Kathy is correct about the BFF and rest assured that it is never a silly question.
Our family have had our ups and downs, nothing is ever perfect.
Thank you deja pseu.
Your son will become a man before your very eyes. It's like that song "turn around". I think it was from a Kodak commercial eons ago and my mom and I cried whenever we saw it...
little did I know that would ring so true.
Bonnie- Maybe there will be a grandchild who will giggle for you one day. I know how special that feeling is in my life.
Lynne- I worked on this post for a few hours over 2 days and wondered if it was too emotional. Sounds like it struck a chord with you and for that I am grateful.
Lorrie- You are a fortunate woman...
having them all home under one roof, babes and all must be so fulfilling. I bet you just want to pinch yourself to see if it is not a dream!
Janet- I agree, it stretched my abilities and made me a better human being. How are those grandchildren doing? I haven't heard much about them on your blog.
Duchesse- Your outing with your son does sound lovely. He's in Montreal is he not? If memory serves me Isn't that the reason that you moved?
I know....
Fernwood Leslie- I hope that you'll feel like commenting more often and I'll try not to make you cry.
We are very lucky Leslies!
Blue Jeans Girl- Thank you. Take lots of pictures, you are wise to savour these precious moments.
If I could send you curry I would...I'll do the next best thing and ask my lovely daughter to email me a copy so I can post it here on the blog.
Kathryn- I cannot imagine life without my kids. I walk a fine line between laying back and stalking mine!
annie- Dinner was amazing! I am so proud of my children it's hard not to brag!
mater- I am lucky and I very aware of how fortunate I am that they live in the same city.
I am an emotional person by nature so I do feel things deeply.
Isla is a treasure!
Pondside- Like you staying home with my children was such a huge gift and a very special time.
The gift of being a grandparent so much better than what I had imagined! Delight is a perfect way to look on this scene.
Congratulations on the wedding!
It sounds like you live close to your daughters and that you are fortunate to enjoy sharing dinners and times together.
Reinventing ourselves is so necessary...
Aren't we so lucky?
My younger child (darling daughter) still resides with us and I truly don't know how I shall feel once she flies the coup as her big brother did 18 months ago. Fortunately he lives close by and we enjoy frequent contact.
My happiest moments in life are when my gorgeous children are in the family home. Together.
Lovely post Hostess..I agree totally, motherhood is the best!
xx
I'm glad you understand what I mean Mette. I sympathize with those who, like Lesley, find the hole left by their children leaves them very emotional. I worried that my comment would be misconstrued, that I would seem somehow to have not been maternal enough, but truly, I was ready for them to go, happy that they were ready to move along. I love having them back to visit, but can't truly say I'd ever want those days back. Mind you, I had kids at home from when I was 23 years old until I was 53. . . you do the math! Long enough!
mater- no one who reads your blog could ever doubt the love and adoration that you have with you family.
I've prevailed on your good nature and tagged you in a meme -- another of those Random Things about me. Feel free to ignore the tag if you're not into this right now, but if you're interested, the rules are posted over at my place.
thanks for the understanding, Lesley. I am much more doting, I realize, than what my comments above might indicate. ;-)
Aw. You bring tears to my eyes. I find that suddenly a voice in my head, apropos of nothing, will pipe up, "I miss my children." I don't even know I'm going to hear it until it's almost all the way said. Maybe the young mom in me, still talking now.
Please pass that hanky I feel often that I am back in those days folding kite diapers and watching them grow before my eyes....
hugs to you Lisa!
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