Mother asked me to accompany her shopping and suggested we pop into our favourite eatery for a light lunch.
Linen J Jill shirt
Jackpot white pants
Lily Bleu flip flops
As creatures of habit I opted for the house salad with feta cheese and Mother chose a thin crust pizzette
two glasses of lemon infused water
(served in plastic tumblers which Mother cannot abide)
and our ritual pots of orange pekoe tea
(served in individual teapots which Mother applauds!)
Conversation wanders off tangentally as we think of things to relate to each other.
Mother recently lost a dear friend and neighbour and is grieving...
the two were widows and spent time together sipping wine, going to the theatre and keeping each other company.
Mother has very few friends left and feels with each death she is nudging closer to her own demise.
Having lost a few friends myself I know how emotional a process this can be...
it is so unsettling
like the rug has been pulled out from under.
A topsy turvy equilibrium follows.
Tears flow freely unbidden...
standing at the sink washing up the dishes
reading a book
listening to music
looking out the window
looking at old photos of us all together...
it doesn't take much to shake those memories loose...
simple threads dangling from a tapestry
There was a long time friend Margaret who grew up and attended school with me who died suddenly leaving two young girls and a husband in her wake.
This death stunned and shocked me to the core...
A few years later another girlfriend, also named Margaret,
one of the "original four" bridge partners lost her battle to cancer
she left a huge void.
It must have been so difficult for her as she knew she was leaving three very young girls, a husband, family, friends, and a career as a dedicated teacher...
when I visited her the last time in Hospice
she was in a coma and all I could do was weep and gently hold her hand.
It took years to come to terms with her demise and I think of her often.
Visiting with the girls
lovely women in their own right
who have become who they are without the gentle guiding and nurturing hand of their mothers
I cannot help but wonder how losing their mothers has impacted their lives...
Saying goodbye and letting go...
are we ever over the grief?
How do we come to terms with our own mortality?
Living life fully
not having regrets
treading gently on life's path
making a difference
taking time to honour those who have left...
Mother and I will attend a service, a "celebration of life" in a few days.
We have been advised to wear a bright scarf.
Mother mentioned that she has already decided what to wear and I have yet to decide...
I am leaning towards my black dress by Gilmour and a bright Hermes scarf.
The LBD not because of it's colour but because it fits well and is a summer weight bamboo.
“Though nothing can bring back the hour of splendor in the grass, of glory in the flower.
We will grieve not, rather find strength in what remains behind.”
~ William Wordsworth ~