Saturday, January 29, 2011

I have been moved and shaken...

I have not seen a play of this quality or magnitude EVER.
I hadn't expected to be so moved or to be so shaken by such a powerful performance on stage.

Schindler's List had a similar effect...
and it took me several years before I could see it.

(I'd read every WW ll book available on the holocaust in High School)

I wept salty tears and lay awake for many nights after viewing it.

Things stay with me...I cannot forget
like a sponge soaking up all the pain
and only time lessens the effect,
the visions blur a bit and I can put it in a perspective that allow me to function but not forget.

Mother and I saw The Laramie Project...
go here for the background....

We have seasons tickets to a local Theatre Guild and are usually entertained by classic plays which are light and cheerful...mother feels refreshed and optimistic and chatters on and laughs on the drive home. could have heard a pin drop in the was an intense and brilliant production and the actors were gifted and committed to bringing home a true story...
a story that was both horrific and brutal but needed to be told... cleverly crafted and with such raw emotion by the performers ( a cast of 33) I was moved by what I saw.
I sat ever so still in my seat hanging on every word...and breathing quietly trying desperately to control my desire to loudly or sniffle as others close by were doing...kleenex was making an entrance.

Suffice to say...if you EVER get a chance to see this play...
RUN don't this run here at our small theatre was SOLD OUT for every performance.

I now know why...

So here I sit, rocked to my core...
(goodness only knows what my delicate mother is doing right now)
she felt very distressed and confused at intermission
and started relating how she had been sheltered from the horrific events of WWll and only later did she realize...
she looked shell shocked as she uttered these words

as I dropped her off she intimated to me that she was going to have a large glass of wine as soon as she got in the door...

I've come home early from a party
preoccupied with thoughts and images
that I cannot get out of my mind...

It might be a night of tossing and turning...
I am having a Gin and Tonic...
I know it's late
and I have a brunch tomorrow.

the dishwasher is humming though it's cycles
Pepper is playing in a basket on the floor that transported my curry dish to the potluck
Mr. HB is reading the 3rd Steig Larsen book in the Bungalow Living room
it looks like a "normal" night...

I am sitting alone in near darkness,
I can hear my heart beating
and it feels like it's beating in my ears
here I sit at my computer
looking for some solace
and find none
I struggle as I am trying to type something that conveys even a little bit of how I feel
the words are not coming easy to me...
they sound pappy and mushy and juvenile
some sound like I am pontificating
others show how sheltered my life has been.

I want to say something profound
something that might be significant enough to open some eyes to what is happening to so many
and I fear that I cannot...
these words ellude me
so I'll stop now and reflect...

I am so troubled by man's inhumanity against man...
one positive has come out of this tragic event a law has been enacted

and now go here

I think...what can I, as one single human being, do to make the world a better place...
I forsee many sleepless nights ahead.


  1. I'm shaken just reading the link.

    Don't know if I'm brave enough to see the play.

    SSG xxx

    Sydney Shop Girl blog

  2. Brilliant theatre can be life changing - it has the ability to challenge/move the head and heart at the same time, and so powerfully and with so much immediacy to the senses. Also I think because we have chosen to be there, sitting still in the dark and quiet, focussed and not distracted, we can really take the experience in fully. This play sounds incredible, and I know that helpless feeling of 'just being one person'. I think perhaps we just have to embrace the challenge of living our one life as cleanly and ethically and joyfully as possible. If opportunities come to get involved with campaigns etc, I'm sure you will know which ones are for you...

  3. I remember when this happened. I am so sensitive that I could never see this play, I would be upset and distraught that I would be sick. I'm glad that there are people who are tough enough to stand up to this kind of horrible acts of humans.

  4. This sounds like theater at its best. Art *should* move us, make us think.

    Our local high school did this play, and apparently won awards for their production. I haven't seen it, but remember the original incident vividly.

    I'm very glad that our local school district has made anti-bullying initiatives a high priority, and has enacted various programs and campaigns to encourage tolerance.

  5. It's a sign that you are awake, that you are disturbed and so moved. Art has the power to change and inspire; this is what happened to you, and it's important. Each of us, within our world, can act.

  6. Dear Hostess, Live theatre can play so powerfully with one's emotions,especially when a performance is as memorable as clearly the one you saw was. Although painful, it is good for the spirit to be moved, I feel, since that spurs one on to see how one can make a greater contribution in life.

  7. This must be an incredible performance to have effected you so powerfully. It is always difficult to accept the evil in our world and to want to fight against it. It only goes to show that each of us can have an effect, especially when we come together in love.

  8. Just found your wonderful blog from Spain. What a wonderfully haunting post you've written. Like you I have read many books on the Holocaust as we (my husband and I) have many Jewish friends in London (our hometown) whose grandparents were part of this horrific part of history. I SO wish I lived close enough to see the play :-(
    p.s Do pop over to my blog and enter our competition to win a gorgeous Amethyst ring from boutique Luxuria. If you like what you see we would love to welcome you as a follower ;-)

  9. The best drama -- art in general, for that matter -- is that which can't be left behind as we leave the theatre. Rather than simply offer us a cathartic experience, it should continue to disturb us, especially when it's based on events as traumatic as this one was. Sounds as if this one did just what it was designed to, and I applaud you for sitting with its difficult message and trying to figure out how you can now reflect, in your everyday life, what you have learned. Living consciously and ethically is not easy, is it!

  10. Hostess,

    I saw the movie version of "The Laramie Project" and was also horrified by the hatred and hurt that people can inflict on those who are different from themselves.

    I appreciate you sharing your thoughts and feelings with us about this subject.

  11. Ah yes. My daughter was in this play, in high school. She played the role of Matthew's father. The speech as written was astonishing, and seeing my daughter speak those words was one of the great moments of pride I've had. Thank you for reminding me. Things get better all the time but we are by no means there. The campaign by Dan Savage, It Gets Better, has generated some wonderful videos on YouTube.

  12. Thank you all for your comments...
    "art should move us" and it has and continues to do so...even if it evokes a painful response...we continue to learn and can opt to take on or support a cause after being exposed to the problem.

    LPC the speech from Matthew's father is where I wept fully, I was grateful for the dimly lit theatre...your daughter must have been a very accomplished actor to have delivered such an emotionally charged've every right to be proud.

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