Saturday, August 3, 2013

Ebbing on the low tide...

Life has it's ups and downs.
This week has been a tedious one for many reasons.

We lost a family member, my beloved uncle, who was in hospital with pneumonia.
Fortunately Mother and I were able to visit him on his birthday.
We had no idea that he would pass away the next day...

The skies opened up and it rained..
the first in over a month
I thought it appropriate
like the sky was shedding tears.

I didn't go for my walk
I had arranged to meet a friend for a lovely walk and then a coffee
but I had to cancel.

Instead I had to go over and give Mother the sad news.
She took it very hard.
It's the end of an era...

My father was first to pass in 2007
then my Aunt in 2010 and now my uncle in 2013.
We sat and hugged and chatted for awhile until I felt she was composed and able to be left alone.

I visited the florist and picked out a bouquet to be sent to my cousins
and set about getting the ingredients to make a huge lasagna to take over to the family.
I rolled up my sleeves and got busy in the kitchen chopping and sauteing 
assembling a roasting pan full to the brim of nutritious veggies 
 a spicy tomato sauce topped with grated mozzarella cheese.

It felt good to be alone with my thoughts and busy with my hands.
I wept
as I remembered my uncle
 pictures of past events formed in my mind
it is in this simple way that I am honoring him.

He made this necklace for me in 1971
I cannot remember what the Chinese character means...
but I do recall him mentioning it was something that he chose just for me.

I wore this when I was the flower girl at his wedding
My aunt and Uncle gave it to me as a gift that very day
It is something that I dearly treasure.

Soon we will gather together as a family
in his honour
to share our thoughts and reminisce...
and keep him alive in our hearts.

~ ~ ~

The tide ebbs and flows
I take a breath and smell the salty air
there is a cool mist of fog on the horizon
 I see an empty bench...
 I take a moment and pause 
reflecting on how precious life is
and how fortunate we are to have had special people in our lives.



  1. Sorry to hear about your uncle, I'm glad you and your Mom had a chance to visit with him one last time before he passed. Take care Hostess.

  2. So beautifully written , life is hard we need to roll in the good times when they are given to us.
    I prefer the rain when someone has passed, sunshine seems so incongruous.

  3. It seems that at our time of life we face loss so often. It is good to have the memories of happier times when the world was young. I remember being a flower girl at my aunt and uncle's wedding when I was 8. My mother says that there is hardly anyone left who knew her as a girl. It is fortunate that you and your Mother saw your uncle on his birthday. Chopping healthy vegetables is therapeutic in many different ways. Take care.

  4. Dear Hostess, I am so sorry for your loss. What a blessing it is that you are close by and able to visit your mother, to sit with her as she accepted the news. Some losses are harder than others, and the loss of a dear uncle is one of those. The sky did, indeed, shed tears on Thursday. There are lots of walks to come. For now you are doing what is needed.

  5. Dear Hostess, How sorry I am to read of the sorrow you are experiencing. I am glad that you were able to visit with him, and that you can offer comfort to your mother.
    Being busy with your hands making lasagne, or other food, is a woman's age-old way of coping with life and what it brings. And it will bring comfort to your cousins as well.

  6. It is always so hard to loose a special person in your life. He sounds like a much loved person. I am so sorry.

  7. I agree that preparing food can be so therapeutic. I think it is the process--the gathering, the sorting, the chopping, the assembling. I'm so glad you found comfort in this and were able to be with your mother. Losing loved ones is so hard and makes us realize that life is finite for sure.

  8. Hostess, I'm so sorry you have lost someone dear to you and yours.

  9. Beautifully written post on your loss, my condolences to your whole family.

  10. My condolences on your loss -- we're losing that generation, aren't we, one by one. . . you're very wise to take comfort as you are in your domestic tasks and your surroundings. Take care.

  11. I´m sorry for our loss too.
    Celebrating your uncle one day, and the next day he is gone.. Probably he did not have to suffer for long, and that at least is a relief for everyone, I believe.
    What a nice act to prepare a meal for your uncle´s family. It shows, that you care.

    1. Correction - I´m sorry for Your loss ( misprinted, sorry ).

  12. Am so sorry to hear of the loss of your beloved Uncle,it must be very hard for your mother to loose close family and friends,one of the sad points as we all age.You are a truly loving,caring daughter Hostess,the meal sounds delicious.

  13. Dear Hostess
    So sorry to hear about your dear Uncle.

    Take care,

  14. I'm very sorry to hear your news.

  15. I am sorry for the loss of your uncle , he truly was a kind and gracious man .Donna