Thursday, August 11, 2011

Craving Comfort Food.....a tonic for sleep deprivation.

Let me seek out comfort food without judgement......
let me feed my belly with something satiating.
I am in dire need of some "feel good sustenance"
sleeping sporadically...
listening to the neighbourhood sounds as most slumber....
thoughts running through my head refusing to be still.

Mother's health has become a factor, and it's affecting her daily routine and I am quite concerned.
She says that I am the worrier in the's true.

She tires more often these days and it is difficult for me to accept that she is not as spry and energetic as she was even a few months ago. Changes that I see with our regular visits and shopping trips, lunches and teas.
I do not know why I am struggling except perhaps to come to grips with the fact that she will not be on this Earth forever.

She has also become very nostalgic and wants to talk of the past and has mentioned Father more and more in her conversations. She misses him so much.
It must be lonely living alone, the hours pass slowly and her voracious habit of reading must help fill the time and be of some comfort...but it's not the same as sharing a home with a spouse.

Happily she is surrounded by a lifetime of treasures and many family photos framed and hung on the walls remind her of happier times.
Her bright condo on the top floor of an older building has views to the ocean on one side and the treetops and roofs looking toward town on the other. It's a warm and spacious place which she loves and rarely does a day go by that she doesn't thank me for finding it. (The credit goes to the realtor that we hired but she thinks it was me)

Having Mother living so close makes it easy to see her often...she is just a hop skip and a jump away!
She is close in proximity and at home in my heart.

It's funny to think how far we've come.
From our struggles when I was a teenager wanting to stay out late, negotiating to wear to school what was then a new trend, "jeans" and our disagreements over the use of make up. Those days are long gone and they lasted only a few years and in the end Mother was right about being protective and her idea of proper attire does not go unheeded as she has set the bar very high.
Her "no make up look" has stood her in good stead and the skin care routines that she instilled upon me have influenced my regime to this day.
I owe her a lot...
Thanks MOM!

Sitting here somewhat sleep deprived, sipping on decaf tea...
(I have given up caffeine for health reasons)
I have thought enough and now I need to get on with things.

So I am succumbing to a little butter melted on apricot raisin bread.

a little indulgence is going a LONG way!

Let's have some fun and forget our troubles.....

"Keep Calm and Carry On"


  1. It is positive for both of you that you and your mom live so close. My mom lives 3000 miles away and I rarely see her. I'm sure your regular visits to her are s source of happiness for you both.

    I am sorry to hear about her decline in health. I can tell this is affecting you greatly and I am glad you are blogging about it - I hope by discussing your feelings, it comforts you a bit.

    Thinking of you whist I enjoy a pot of herbal tea...xo, A

  2. My mum is slowing down too, I know what you're feeling, life goes on its usual meander and then suddenly there is a little tear in the veil and you stop for a moment and realise where they are on the great time line and it hurts like a searing poker in the heart. But she is close to you and you see her often, so enjoy that delicious treat.

  3. Dare I say it? Maybe your mom needs a boyfriend? Companion? Beau?

  4. Such a beautiful post about your Mother. It is hard to imagine a world without them when they have always been there. You sound like a wonderful daughter.

    Butter on fruit toast. Yum.


  5. Enjoy the time with your sweet mother,precious times and memories will always follow you dear Hostess. Sending you a big warm hug O Ida xxxx

  6. I am sorry to hear that your Mom's health is a concern. That's a worry.

    Your toast looks delicious. Perfect comfort food.

    Hang in there.

  7. Your mother's view from "the top" sounds so fine. I can hear all the caring in your words here--the tenderness and concern of your heart for her and her comfort.

    Enjoy your comfort food. (I may have to make a trip to the grocery store for a loaf of apricot raisin bread tomorrow!)

  8. Beautiful words and sentiments you have written about your mother Hostess. I can feel your pain for I've also, like many others, been treading this path with my mum.
    A wise person recently suggested I need to keep my life ticking along and continue my interests.
    Be sure to look after YOU also.

    That toast has made me hungry.
    Anne-Marie xx

  9. What a lovely comment on your love for your mother. Yes, you are right, it is difficult to live alone, I know this only too well, but to have you so close in her life must be a wonderful source of joy.

  10. Leslie, your feelings sound very you, as you have the gift of sympathy.
    Obviously you were treated well in your childhood, so it sounds natural, that now you, in turn, treat your mother well.
    Sounds, that she has the best conditions ever. And does not a bit of her changed behavior belong to her age? Please relax. You have already done more than enough.
    You have to take care of yourself too!!!

  11. Suburban Princess- I think her heart still belongs to our dear father.

    metscan- I will try to relax...

    Thank you all for these kind words, I appreciate reading your comments.

  12. A loving relationship between mother and daughter is such a treasure, and it's lovely to read that you value yours. How good it must be to be able to see your mother often - I chat with mine regularly and look forward to my parents' Island sojourn each winter. For now, whenever I pass their building overlooking the heron rookery in the Park I feel a pang.
    I think a little comforting indulgence is good once in a while, and your toast looks scrumptious.

  13. My mother passed away 6 years ago from metastatic breast cancer at age 65. No matter what the circumstances, watching your strong independent mother struggle to do everyday things for herself is so very, very hard! Be kind to yourself and try to find the little things you can do to support her, even though she may not want it! For me it was the hard slog of grocery shopping, laundry and cooking plenty of meals.
    I just adore fruit toast with lashings of butter!

  14. I hope your mom is having a good day, and you too. My sisters and I discussed things like this, during our visit to the Cape for my mother's older brother's memorial service. We should all do our best, what else is there to do, and I'm guessing you do just that.