It has been 3 months and I still miss her so much.
Everywhere I go...I am "with her" and she is "with me."
Mom was so much a part of my life,
and in retirement...a weekly friend who would join me for teas, lunches, shopping and coffee. We shared books, laughter and love.
My daily walks, which were curtailed upon her demise.
Load of work to do on the estate, but mostly because
I passed by her condo on my walking route
and I felt so sad walking by...
Most days, before Mom died, I would stop in for tea and a chat after my walk.
walking past was just too emotional for me.
Many times I would start to walk only to turn around and return home.
Then I took to driving to other areas of town for my walk but this felt too weird and why drive the car and use the gas?
Three months in...
the bulk of the estate has been seen to...
mom's condo has sold and her personal things have been dispersed among the family and those not wanted, were donated.
It has been a big challenge and I have dug deep for strength.
With support from my husband and friends... I am grateful.
I returned to Yoga
to increase my flexibility and for stress relief...
The deep breathing and calming poses help.
I have gained a few pounds.
Recently a call came in from Hospice offering me some counselling...
I cried while I was on the phone and said
"Thank you, I am OK"
I have been eating "comfort food"
too many salty crunchy chips!
They call it comfort food for a reason!
I gave myself a stern lecture.
It is time to get back on track.
The roses are blooming, the sun is shining and my walking route awaits...
Mom would not want me to be sad.
So I have been walking along my favourite route and am looking at the building where she lived and remembering...
with a few tears mixed in with the salt air and sunshine.
Behind my sunglasses no one can see them.
My week is ticking along...
watching the scale slowly reflecting the results of my efforts.
Pepper is looking longingly out at the birds.
She would leap out the window and try and catch one of the birds if she only could...
Lunch after my walk.
Tea with a 2 egg omelette and a small salad.
The daily 5km walks are not quite happening yet
4kms each day is my current goal...
The roses blooming in The Humble Bungalow Garden
are helping to brighten up my days.
It is going to take me some time to get totally "back on track"
to my desired weight.
In the meantime we plod along and try to make the best of things.
Grief is not predictable.
Frankly it frequently startles and surprises me.
Thank you for stopping by...