Wednesday, May 31, 2017

Content (at last) with my grey hair...

My hair...has been an ongoing battle issue over the years.
It is thick, wavy...
many would say it is curly,
and it most certainly has a mind of its own.

I value my hairdresser as much as I do our family physician.
They both are very important people in my life, and both give me great advice.

Mother used to say that a woman's crowning glory was her hair. When we were children she cut our hair and we wore it in a short bobbed style that was popular with straight short bangs or "fringes" as they are called today.

Mother once gave me a Twiggy hair cut after I begged to go to the hairdresser for a professional one...just for the record I HAD to go to the hairdresser to have Mom's snippy mess "fixed"...
the hairdresser said "I can do little with this now but it will grow"...
(it took ages and I avoided looking in mirrors for months!)

Mom would collect rainwater to rinse her hair and once a month would give herself an oil treatment...
this involved olive oil, a plastic bag and a towel.
She spent an entire day "at home" during this procedure.

Mom's hairstyles metamorphosed over the years...
my sister and I observed many changes.

Mom had perms for a few years,
she also gave my sister and I "Tonette perms"
usually around Easter for the Sunday service at church.

Mom dyed her hair blonde for a year and we referred to this as her "Doris Day" phase...
later she sprayed a silver streak in the front...this was her "Virginia Graham" phase.

Mom loved fashion, style and was never one to be stuck in a rut...
she moved with the times and had fun...plus she had a great sense of humour.

The "signature hairstyle" that so many women adopt has always eluded me.

Hair has been a source of frustration over the years
flipping and flopping and changing my mind...
cutting it,
growing it,
colouring it.

Now that I have salt and pepper hair, it feels simple and easy ~ to just be natural.


My hair is cropped quite short, it is almost a pixie cut.
I wash it in the shower and towel dry it before I spritz it with curl enhancing spray and then let it air dry.

It feels good to accept things and be content.

Wishing for something illusive is really frustrating
 a complete waste of time and energy.

The style of my hair does not define me, nor take up too much  angst  space in my mind.
I have finally just let it go...


Salt and Pepper
like the highlights I formerly paid for and now they are free!

Mother had lovely silver hair and I expect it may be several years before I get to that all over shade but in the meantime I am embracing this "new natural phase."

I am curious...
Are you happy with your hair?
Have you found your signature style?
Do you colour your hair or have you let it go natural?


Summer reading has commenced... 
I've a long list of books and plan to buy a few more in the coming weeks.


I finished this book recently and wept at the end...
it is worth reading and I would ask you to please read the author's personals note at the end of the book.

What is on your summer reading list?



Thank you for popping by The Humble Bungalow.
XO

79 comments:

  1. The red chairs on the stone patio are so inviting. I can imagine being quite content there with a good book and a glass of ice tea!

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    1. I would love to be there too but honestly there are many weeds to pull....

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    2. Last year my husband begged...yes begged me to grow my hair long. He is so sweet and generous with me doing nearly anything I ask. I thought about it and decided to grow my hair but not color it . He had asked me years ago to be blond forever..I had all the color removed and cut my hair hardly ever..once every 6 months .It saves me a fortune in cash and time. My hair is curly thick and I get so many compliments it is surprising, especially to Bill when young men say "Your hair is beautiful." i love your look it suits you well.

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    3. You are a lovely woman, I am sure that you continue to glow and that you share your wisdom and kindness with everyone you meet.
      I loved our breakfasts together in Paris on the Ooh La La Tour.

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  2. My hair also has a mind of it's own - just like the head it sits upon :-)

    It is wavy, but curls more than waves. I get lots of compliments on it, but there are times when I wish I had bone-straight hair - much easier, I think, to work with! Mine is still mostly blonde, but the grey/white is coming in. I have no plans to colour it, unless it goes a mousey grey. My father's hair was mostly white when he died, and Mom's is all white with the exception of a few stray dark grey hairs.

    A good hairdresser is worth her weight in gold! I had to go on the hunt for a new one last year, as mine decided to return to Eastern Europe. It is difficult to find someone who isn't afraid to cut wavy hair.

    Your hair looks great!

    Pearl in Vancouver

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    1. Pearl I have been there wishing for straight hair too...there was a woman in my Yoga class today...and she had very short hair from chemo and radiation...my heart went out to her.

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  3. I admire Princess Charlene's of Monaco pixie haircut. She always looks effortlessly chic. My formerly fine thin blond hair is improved with coarser gray hair - and no longer spending $$ on color and highlights. The princess inspires me to consider going shorter.

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    1. I have no idea of what Princess Charlene looks like...I will look at her pics online.

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  4. I think your hair looks terrific. The colour and cut really suit your face and skin tones. And in a way is more youthful than the past when women of a certain age had a perm and rinse almost as a prescription. I lost my mother just over two years ago and often remember significant hair events both for her and inflicted on me ( a Purdy pageboy on a very curly red mop). Hair really matters but the good thing is it always grows again.

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    1. If my hair looks good then my hairdresser gets the credit...she is a gifted stylist!

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  5. I believe this is my first comment on your beautiful blog. I want to answer your question about graying hair. I am Asian and live in Los Angeles. I am sixty-eight and after years of wearing variations of a bob, I've now gone to a short, spiky cut. Easy to do with my thick straight hair. After hundreds of dollars spent on perms (we want what we don't have!), I've opted to not spend money on color. My hairdresser tells me I'm lucky in that I've got a natural gray streak right in the front that adds oomph to my short cut. I am happy with my appearance and feel that a smile and contented heart adds more than any dye job could.
    One of my dear Caucasian friends stopped a red-brown color on her hair, went natural gray, and, I swear, she looks ten years younger! Thank you for this post and encouraging other women to follow suit. Removing the harsh chemicals from one's life must have benefits.
    Charlene H.

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    1. It would be fun to see your hairstyle...please feel free to send me a pic!

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    2. Done!
      Charlene H.

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  6. I totally agree! Your hair looks natural and pert! Is that a good word? Perky sounds like a dog. After spending many hours and thousands of dollars on colour and straightening, I am so content with my hair. I took no product or dryer to Mexico: washed, conditioned and air-dryed. My mum goes to the hairdresser every week and I am thankful that our generation has avoided that. I'm reading The Midwife of Hope River on your recommendation. If it's playing in Victoria, you should go with a woman friend to see Paris Can Wait. It's a older lady fantasy film but so lovely. Beautiful settings on a car trip from Cannes to Paris, decadent food and gorgeous clothing! I have suggested Jane Eyre for one of my book clubs because our library has a set. We like to read one 19th century novel a year.

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    1. I want to see that film...Dian Lane is one of my favourite actresses...perhaps this weekend I will go to the cinema!
      I do hope that you are enjoying The Midwife of Hope River.

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  7. Hair! Your salt and pepper hair looks very nice. Hair has always been a bit of a frustration for me, as well. Most of my life it was wavy, but after I went through chemo, it came in really curly. However, almost five years later, it seems to be going just wavy again. (Which means all which ways.) Sigh! I recently had it cut collar length, hoping to get some spring in the curls. I do still have my natural hair color, and have developed a white streak in the area above my right forehead side...I like it.
    Enjoy your reading. I hope you do get some quite time in your garden....it looks so nice!
    Mary Lou

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    1. My friend had the same experience after chemo and radiation...curly hair!
      In Yoga class today we had a new woman who is going through chemo and radiation...her very short grey hair looked the epitome of style.

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  8. I do have a signature style- a bob. I've had it for a few years and really don't intend to change it much, except to vary the length. I began to go grey in my 30's and should have let nature take its course. For 10 years, my hair has been dark blond, sometimes with a few highlights as the whim strikes. The other day, I was noting that it was time to go to the hairdresser because my grey was showing. My 9 year old granddaughter was in shock. "Nanny-I didn't know you had grey hair, I thought it was golden." She was quite upset. It disturbed her to think that I might be "old."

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    1. I admire women who know their "look" and wear it with such confidence.
      Children say the most outrageous things...

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  9. My hair is greying, but at this point only lightly frosted. Considering I got my mother's hair type I assumed I would also be completely white by the time I turned 40. Instead, at 50 my hair is a conversation piece among the women at work for the fact that I have so little grey, usually when they are debating letting go of their dye. Ironically I have allergies that precluded ever using hair color so when my first grey came in at 30 I came to terms with being prematurely white like the maternal half of my family, then it never happened.

    Style-wise I have a pixie cut and have had for 15 years now. It took me longer to come to terms with the fact that I have fine, thin, straight hair that won't hold a style and that my only choices were pixie or Halloween witch than it did to deal with the color change that never happened.

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    1. It is interesting that your family went white and you have your original shade...perhaps you have inherited different genes. The pixie cut seems to be a classic cut...which has stood the test of time.

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  10. I've been thinking about my hair lately. How did you know. I wear it not quite shoulder length and it is straight. My hair is turning white and I have it highlighted so that the dark parts will not be so stark against the light parts. My hair is almost completely white in large streaks in the front. I would look like Cruella DaVille but for the highlights---no salt and pepper like yours.

    Am I satisfied? I don't know. I feel a bit dated. And I just don't really like the way I look right now. Part of that is needing to lose weight--but part is just not knowing which direction to take.

    My husband really likes my hair long and would be very unhappy (truly) if I cut it.

    So there you have it!

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    1. I did not know!
      You know what is best for you ...no one can tell you what to do with it.
      Losing weight could help me too...but with the recent demise of my mother I cannot wrap my head around it just yet. Too much too soon...I will get on top of it when the time is right.

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  11. My hair also does it's own thing. I gave up years ago trying to get it to do anything other than curl and now that I'm in my late 60's it's more wavy than curly. As I've gotten older it's more flyaway than ever. I've tried numerous products to no avail. Blow dry or let it dry naturally it still is flyaway. I'm fortunate that I went from a redhead to a strawberry blonde. I have never colored my hair although I am still asked what color I use. I do have a beautiful white strip on the left side that can be seen depending on how the hair decides to go that day. It appeared about 10 years ago and I was so excited I went to my husband and told him to look at it. He looked at me strangely not understanding why I was so excited and said "it's white". I said yes but it's beautiful. I know I should probably me more concerned with how I look but if I'm clean and neat I'm happy. I've always said that God loves me and my husband (when he was alive) loved me and that was all that truly mattered.

    Love your natural self. God does.

    I so appreciate your blog. Thank you for taking the time to write it.

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    1. Sounds to me like you are in a good place...you know what works for you and have come to terms with it.

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  12. "It feels good to accept things and be content." The best and wisest words I've heard in a long time. A key to happiness in general, I think. Thank you for your blog.

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  13. I have fine, stick straight hair. I used to say I would do anything (body wave, products, color, curling) to make it look presentable and it used to look nice and styled but recently it has thinned and always looks unkempt no matter what I do to it. So increasingly I am thinking why bother or I need to get a professional blow out every week. Hilderbrand has a new book coming out in about a week :). I recently read Stars are Fire and A Piece of the World-both held my attention and were enjoyable.

    I also appreciate your blog-so happy when I see a new one in my inbox.

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    1. Aw and there were many years when I would iron and straighten my hair...longing for that stick straight look!
      I look forward to the new book...she weaves a great story.

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  14. Your hair looks fabulous...easy care makes it perfect! I haven't colored my hair in years due to sensitivity to the chemicals.

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    1. Oh and let's try to avoid toxic chemicals whenever we can...that is a very valid point Donna!

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  15. I have fine, thin, wavy hair. While my husband would prefer my hair on the long side, I long ago gave that up. It's just too impossible to have it looking anything other than rather stringy, if it's long. I used to color my hair myself, but some time ago I gave that up. I consider my hair mousy grey, although some tell me they don't find that to be the case at all. I cut my hair myself and have for many years. I find it next to impossible to find a hairdresser whom I like - I always end up fixing whatever they've done. So my hair is grey, short and cut myself. My mom cuts her own hair as well and she's 81. As for summer reading, I have stacks of novels my sister has given me that I need to get to!

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    1. Mother cut her own hair in her last years...perhaps a decade. I have no idea how she managed...with frozen shoulder I could never consider it.
      Fortunately I have never had to "fix" a cut that any hairdresser has given me...
      So what will you read first of the books that your sister has given to you?

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    2. Right now I'm finishing Yhe Good Wife Strikes Back by Elizabeth Buchan. Next up are If Morning Ever Comes by Anne Tyler and then The Choir by Joanna Trollope.

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    3. Thank you...I will add those titles to my list!

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  16. Hair....I'm still doing low lights....but leaving more white. It actually looks quite elegant. I have a great hairdresser and she knows how to style curly hair. Not quite ready to go the whole nine yards....the cut is so important.

    Ali

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    1. Hairdressers that can cut curly hair are to be put up on a pedestal!
      Aveda makes a great line called Brilliance for us curly haired women...currently I am using Bumble and Bumble but I do love the Aveda line too.

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  17. I will be reading The Lake House (kinda late, I know)
    My short gray hair is wavy and sometimes curly. Somedays I let it do its own thing and some days I straighten it with my flat iron. I get lots of compliments when I let it be but part me thinks grey hair looks better sleek. (at least on me)
    I agree on the importance of a good hair professional. Mine moved and I am still looking. As others said, it grows back so I don't stress too much about the cut. I try to bring a picture or two as my verbal description is often "lacking".
    Thanks for another great post.
    Suz from Vancouver

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    1. Never too late...it is nice that you have options...straight or curly.
      Oh hunting for a hairdresser is a serious job!...look for people whose style that you like and ask them who they go to.

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  18. I love your hair - the style is adorable and with your skin tones your gray hair looks great.

    I color my hair and have done so for decades. I would like it to be natural, so much less work but light hair color completely washes me out. My hair is naturally curly so at least that helps.

    Love your red chairs.

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    1. You know in your heart what works for you and I agree that you need to trust your instincts.

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  19. I love reading your memories of your parents and family in the 60's and 70's. Maybe you could write a book? It would be great! Have you read "They left us everything?" Bittersweet, but lots of fun memories of a mother who was once young and vivacious.

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    1. Not sure that I have a book in me...I might not be disciplined enough!
      I really enjoyed They Left us Everything and did a blog post about it awhile back.
      Love reading...inspired by so many authors!

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  20. Your hair has always looked great and now it looks even better. I wanted curls and havng a perm sure wasn't the solution. Extra big hair of the 80s. Ugh.

    After 30 years I gave up my hair colouring addiction. Natural was dark brown and then the gray started. The last ten years were shades of blonde. It wasn't too hard to transition. I just wish I'd done it much sooner. Freedom.

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    1. In the mid 1970's afro perms were all the rage...I had several but it was not a good look on me!
      Cheers to freedom!

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  21. Oh, hair! When I was a child, of course, my mother loved helping me comb or brush my hair. She would put it in ringlets using rags. I started with very dark hair at birth, then became a strawberry blonde, then a true blonde. By age 7, I had lost all of the blonde but one last streak in the front which lasted for about 20 years.

    I grew up wishing I could have brown eyes and dark brown hair with body and curls with auburn highlights just like my mother. Well, I had blue eyes and straight honey brown hair except for the blond streak. There is a saying that your hair will match the colour and shade of your eyebrows. I spent my thirties hoping that was the case and it was. Suddenly my hair was no longer straight and tending towards limp. My mother used to dye her hair when she was in her 60s and then one day she said she thought she'd stop and see what colour it really was. Well, it was the most beautiful ice white –– a white that sparkled like diamonds. Is it too much to ask that when the time comes could I have ice white hair?

    Now I have some curls. I have twice had a folate deficiency. The first time my sassy doctor (whom I've known for 30+ years) said "If I pay you $5 will you dye your hair? [to get rid of the white]. I sassed back by saying, "why don't you just figure out what the nutritional deficiency is that explains this sudden grey hair?" and he said like what? So I said "folate". Well to have a folate deficiency is very rare these days but sure enough I did. So my hair started to turn brown again. It happened again. Most of the time my hair is brown with auburn highlights. And a white streak where once there was a blonde streak.

    To help the hair grow back in, and to help restore colour too, I use a small dose of Biotin (one of the Vitamin Bs) but only for a couple of weeks. (according to the label). It really does help. I noticed the other day my hair is no longer limp. The curl is back. I like wearing it shoulder length so mosquitoes can't find the nape of my neck. Sometimes a bit shorter. I always ask my hairdresser to give my hair body like my mother had.
    Somehow, I say, "do what you want to do", she does the same old thing and we're both happy.

    I collect my cut hair and put it near the trees, in hope of scaring off the deer from eating the trees.
    I have a second cousin who not that long ago told me she'd like to strangle me and when I asked why, she said I still had my natural hair colour while she's had to colour hers for thirty years.

    My worst hair experience came when I was about 13 years old. On the day I was going to my confirmation, I had an ammonia based perm. well, the darn thing just did not set at all so 7 hours later (after being baked under a dryer, they let me go just in time for the service. I have never had another perm and I do not colour my hair as I think it is a toxin to do so.

    Still, I just wonder if there is anything (other than, perhaps, home-made chocolate chip cookies) that shows maternal love than a mother gently, lovingly brushing out her child's hair?

    I love salt and pepper hair and I think yours both in colour and style is simply elegant!

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  22. Oh my gosh - you have brought back so many memories! My mother used to give my sisters and I a "toni perm" every summer for ages! We hated it! Then we started going to our mother's hairdresser for our cuts and one year she decided that I would look good with the new Mia Farrow Pixie cut! I went from a Beatle type cut with heavy bangs to next to nothing! I told my mother I wasn't going back to school until it grew out - needless to say that didn't fly! I was mortified - but within the month half the girls at school were sporting the same very short cut.
    I remember one occasion when I was older and my hair was longer and I was at the salon for a curly perm - I caught the eye of a black woman in the mirror - she was there to get her hair straightened! We both burst out laughing when we realized what we were doing! My family had just gotten used to this look when I decided to straighten it again, dyed it red and then went off to my aunt & uncle's 25th wedding anniversary party - my dad asked my sister who her "friend" was - Hello dad - your eldest!
    My hair has been every colour of the rainbow and I've certainly had fun with it. The last couple of years I've been sporting a "bob" but for the summer I have decided to go back to a Pixie cut - it's just so easy - wash, a tiny bit of cream, 1 minute with the blow dryer!
    I keep thinking about letting it go grey - but I'm going to be looking for at least part-time work this Fall and I'm very aware of age discrimination now so I think I will keep colouring it for a few more years. I have lightened the colour slightly so it doesn't look harsh and the product my hairdresser uses allows the grey to show up as highlights so it looks more natural.
    Oh, and my mom also gave herself the hot oil treatment at home!
    As for books - I have piles of them here to get through. I'm still reading "Manderley Forever" - about Daphne Du Maurier - I'm interested in the subject matter but I'm not sure about the style - the author writes in the 1st person as though she is DuMauruer - I find it a bit "precious".
    I have read "15 Dogs" - I found it slow to start but then it really grabbed me - although I found it a slow read as I really wanted to think about each chapter. Half the fun for me was that it takes place in my neighbourhood so I could picture all the locals. I hope you enjoy it.

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    1. Oh my...I had not thought about Age discrimination in the workplace but you make a great point for avoiding going grey.
      My husband read 15 Dogs and did not enjoy it very much but we both read completely different styles of books so I am curious if I will find it to my liking...

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  23. Your hair looks wonderful, carefree, and effortlessly chic.

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    1. It is pretty easy...wash and wear cannot be simpler.

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  24. I'm with you regarding my hair these days. Decided to let it grow out silver, stop trying to camouflage thinning spots, subdue curls, etc. And I think it looks better than it has in years! There's a lesson here for sure. I'm currently looking for the next great book to lose myself in. I have a William Kent Kruger that I just started and he's always reliable for good setting, a likeable protagonist, and a good mystery plot. But after that I want something juicy to savor. Doesn't have to be great literature, but well-written (I know this is subjective, of course) and preferably not heart-breaking. Open to suggestions...

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    1. I am currently reading and enjoying The Madwoman Upstairs...perhaps not a "juicy" read but I will open it up to others to comment.

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  25. I think your hair looks lovely! There are so many things to consider when thinking about going with the grey vs. colouring it. When I first started getting a bit of grey back in my forties I went to the hairdresser and had some highlights added. That was enough to make me realize that I wasn't the kind of person who would ever be able to keep up with that kind of thing. Plus, I wonder about applying chemicals to one's hair on a regular basis. So go with the grey it's been for me. :-)

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    1. I think hair dyes are much kinder and gentler these days but if one wants to avoid any extra toxins I think the natural route would be best.
      Highlights take a long time to process and they do cost quite a bit of money...I did love the effects but when I retired I opted to save the money instead.

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  26. LOVE your HAIR!
    MY best friend growing up her GRAND POP invented the PERMEANT WAVE MACHINE!!!!!
    MY best to YOU and yes I am letting the TINSEL CASCADE...........so far SO GOOD!
    XX

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    1. What a great invention!!! Imagine that being his claim to fame!
      Tinsel catches the light and makes one glow...I am all for it.

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  27. I love your posts..your hair...your garden.....what you read....your philosophy of life. Thanks so much for writing.
    What do you put in your hair to enhance the curl? Thank you

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  28. Please, what is the curl enhancer you use? Thank you.

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  29. Your hair is beautiful,so nice
    Lucky you
    Dottoressa

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    1. Thank you D!
      I am curious have you met up with materfamilias yet?

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    2. Yes,I did!
      Mater and Pater are wonderful people and I was very happy to meet them. To me,it seemed like continuing the conversation,started at blog. I had a great time and hope to meet them once more,after their Dalmatian adventures
      Have a nice weekend!
      Here is very,very hot ,with a lot of humidity in the air
      D.

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  30. Your hair looks lovely and definitely suits your colouring. I also have curly hair which I leave longer than yours as it seems to like it that way! A good hairdresser who knows how to cut curly hair is a treasure. Thanks also for the reading suggestions.

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    1. My hairdresser is VERY clever and knowledgeable...I hope that she never retires as it would be difficult finding another one who has such talent.

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  31. My hair is a few inches past my shoulders. I often experiment with different ways of wearing it. Sometimes straight, sometimes with curls, often naturally wavy. I still love to wear pony tails and buns. I dye it every 10 weeks to hide grey at my roots. Its an auburn shade. May be time for a change soon since it's been this way for about a decade now but it's me and suits my style.

    I am reading The Woman in Cabin 10. Wow- it's a page turner that has kept me up into the wee morning hours. A mystery that I would not recommend reading alone in a dark house at night as every little sound will be a fright!

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    1. I have heard that Woman in Cabin 10 is a riveting read...I do not like scary books very much...I have a wild imagination!

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  32. Since you asked ... I tried to be happy with my grey hair. The grey grows in stripes, which could be awesome, but it's not really. I never could embrace it, as I have other parts of growing older. The person I saw in the mirror didn't look like me, and it made me unhappy.

    Then, one day, on a whim, I bought a box of purple permanent hair color. With my husband's blessing, I did it! The dark brown parts of my hair are little changed, but the grey chunks look like expensive purple highlights. I love it, and I can say (at least for now) my reflection in the mirror shows the fun person that I feel like on the inside.

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    1. Wow you are brave! I like that idea and bravo for your husband to encourage and support you in that decision!

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  33. Hello Leslie,
    I have a question about using olive oil on silver/grey hair. Did using it change the colour of your mother's hair? I wonder if it would give it a "yellow" tone. Also, what brand of curl enhancer do you use on your hair? Emily

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    1. Mom used olive oil on her brunette hair when I was younger...not sure it would be good for silver or grey hair but I am not an expert!

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    2. Bumble and Bumble Curl Primer Spray is what I spritz on my hair.

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  34. P.S. Colouring hair cannot be good for you, and worse yet, it must be harmful to the environment! Consider how many people are colouring their hair and how much the environment is taking it! Congratulations on giving it up! Emily

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  35. I coloured my hair for about 10 years, but determined that when I turned 60 I would go natural. I looked like a skunk until I went for highlights to blend it a little. Now I'm surprised at how little grey there really is. It's going to take a long time to grow out since it's a chin length or longer bob. I do flat iron my hair because it's wild and wavy/curly, depending on the weather. I've always been fairly pleased with my hair.

    I'm reading (or about to read) The Soldier, by Joanna Trollope. I see one of hers in your stack of books, too.

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  36. I love your hair. I am a little more grey than you are, but I like your cut and will bring your picture to my hairdresser so she can give me a similar style. Please, what shampoo do you use and do you use a conditioner?
    Thank you

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    1. I use Aveda Shampure and I do not use conditioner. I energize the curls with Bumble and Bumble curl spray.

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  37. Thanks. just ordered both products
    I enjoy your blog so much. Your roses are so beautiful.

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