We've just said farewell to our friends after spending a few days at Quarter Deck Cottage.
We shared a few idyllic days
walking, laughing, dining, and chatting...
Good friends are such a gift and I am so grateful to have them in our lives.
It has been a difficult year for us and I am not sad to say goodbye to 2017.
Many things have contributed to the current sadness in our family.
A sadness so deep that it has rocked us to the core.
Shock, disappointment and grief
emotions so strong that at times it has crippled me.
There is very little that I can do
to change the situation that affects our family.
It is beyond my control.
I will help and support our family to the best of my ability.
Craving a space that is calm
peaceful
I find it in simple routines...
The repetitive motion of knitting
walking along the seafront
ironing linens
chopping vegetables
sipping tea
reading with the cat slumbering on my lap
I am conscious of inviting gentle rhythms
of everyday living
into my daily round.
Not sure how things will turn out...
it is a situation
which can,
if I allow it,
to rob me of sleep
make me weep
prevent me from feeling contentment and happiness.
My wish is for a Peaceful
resolution for our family.
Happiness in the New Year might be awhile coming but I am hopeful.
Best wishes to you all for 2018.
Thank you for stopping by...
Hostess
XO
83 comments:
I'm sorry to hear that you are experiencing such grief right now. Your means of coping by taking pleasure in the small daily tasks echoes what I heard the other evening. A man (forget his name) who wrote a book called Joy on Demand says that we need to savour every "slice of joy" that we experience each day. The good new is, so he says, is that we get better at this as we age. While young people measure joy in life events, older people (who are self aware) tend to find pleasure in the small things. If you are interested in this book, I heard him on Tapestry on CBC and he used to be the "happiness guru" at Google. Hope 2018 is better.
I'm so sorry to hear that you and your family are facing such difficulty. Hoping for the best possible outcome. All the best to you and yours in the coming year. Peace.
Hi Leslie,
When a situation is beyond our control it creates so much sadness and anxiety, but you are right all you can do is stand by and support as much as you can and pray that it all turns out for the best. Thinking of you and sending you a hug!
Oh Leslie, I'm so sorry! Families are such a source of joy, but also often that which makes us saddest. Because they are so close and dear. I send you all best wishes and a big hug.
Sorry to hear of family difficulties, I too am glad to farewell 2017 after 3 months of surgery recovery and follow up treatment which encroaches on ones life drastically, may 2018 see resolution for you and your family, may peace overcome anxiety, Lyn Australia
I am so sorry to hear that you have troubles but hope that there isa peaceful resolution as soon as possible. I was getting worried and was going to email you. So I will wish you blessings in the New Year and prayers to for what is troubling you. Ann
We too are experiencing a crisis in our family that has rocked us to the core
So much pain
We just pray for justice
Leslie, I am a bit tearful tonight reading about your sadness. I think many of us have been in a similar place for all kinds of reasons and thought the end of happiness was upon us. My prayer for you and your family is peace and a way to deal with the sadness and what has caused it. Thinking of you this evening as we begin 2018.
I have had the same year, I am reading between the lines and have come to no conclusions. As you would if I carefully worded my sadness. Another blogger is experiencing tremendous sorrow. I thought life would be more carefree at my age of 75 (almost), I thought it would be safer. I love my mate of 53 years and am happy we can weather this storm together
Thinking of you and sending love and strength.
I'm so very sorry Leslie that you're going through this, particularly following the passing of your mother. I hope for a peaceful and happy resolution as quickly as possible.
I am so sorry to read of your distress. As we get older it seems many of us face situations which rock us to the core. You are always very aware and I sense you are doing the best you can to cope. Wishing you the blessing of a good resolution and better times ahead.
My heart goes out to you. After the loss you experienced early in the year this seems so very hard. Let's walk in friendship and support....and let's knit. You and yours will survive the present challenges and there will be a day when you will be able to say "I remember that difficult time". Until then just put one foot in front of the other and focus on the beauty around you, as you have always done.
Leslie, I'm also so sorry to hear of your troubles. It sounds very serious and my wish is that you and your family weather the storm. I hope that the responses from your readers give you some comfort.
You've chosen gentle words and peaceful routines with which to carry your grief and sadness. May they be rewarded with resolution and fresh starts... ♥
I am so sorry. What ever this is I hope it resolves itself quickly. Love conquers so many things maybe it will this too. I will be thinking of you.
So sorry to read about your troubles and sincerely hope that 2018 will bring resolution of the situation and that you find peace.
You are a source of peace and calm to others and I am so sorry you are experiencing these troubles. You are in my thoughts.
So very sorry to hear of your situation. I wish good things for you and hope you will continue to find some comfort in small things. Thank you for taking the time to let us know.
Best, Suz from Vancouver
Hugs to you, Leslie, it sounds like life has been beating on you, but you are "bloody but unbowed." I am inspired by your attitude of seeking peace in the small things - they are really the glue that help hold us together, aren't they. Wishing you peace for 2018, my dear. Sheila
Sending hugs and wishes for strength, comfort, and resilience. (I love Pondside's words and would echo them if we lived closer)
No words can really ease your grief and sadness, but I do hope the great outpouring of support and love from your online community will help you feel less alone. Sending hugs and healing thoughts to you.
I am so sorry to read of your distress, I wondered why you had been absent. I do hope there is a solution, one that will soon restore contentment and happiness to you and your family.
Sending prayers for peace and resolution of family issues -
You are the best. Enjoy the things in your life as much as you can, do your best to let go as much as you can (the hardest thing in the world to do). Bless you.
My dear hostess. I like you will not be sad to see 2017 go away. I lost my lovely husband very suddenly in August and it has rocked my world. The feeling of loneliness is unsurmountable. I sincerely hope that you and your family find a peaceful solution to your distress. Your posts have been a source of calmness to me the past few months and I wish you all the love and support you need.
That book sounds like something I would enjoy...thank you Madame....I'd love to meet a happiness guru!
We are hoping for a positive resolution too....thank you for your kind words Kathy.
Life certainly throws us curve balls...right now I'd be happy if it was boring and humdrum!
You are so right Lisa...and it is hard to watch when there is not much that we can do to help...that's the hardest part, not being able to step in and "FIX" things!
Sending positive and healing thoughts to you Lyn...
and may you enjoy a healthy 2018.
It's a family situation where my husband and I are powerless to do much...we cannot change or fix things but can be here in love and support.
Families have these issues now and again...it does weigh heavy on us but we will survive.
Thank you Susan...your thoughts and prayers are most welcome. In time I am sure that things will calm down and work themselves out...we want the best for our beloved family.
I thought life would be easier too! Well you and I are both facing some challenges and fortunately we have wonderful husbands who are helping us through these rocky times.
Thank you Becky, I appreciate your friendship.
It will take time for this situation to resolve itself and I need to find ways of minimizing my distress...I am usually much better at coping...perhaps with the loss of mom I am not quite as strong as I thought...thank heaven for our dear friends.
Patricia...your comment has soothed me...the support here from readers like you is really helping.
Walking, knitting and tea drinking!
My favourite things and all much sweeter with a lovely friend by my side...
The responses and emails of support are far beyond my wildest expectations...they are helping me regain some perspective.
Oh a fresh start sounds like a wonderful idea!
That is what I think January is all about...
It will take some time and I will need to be patient...I want everyone in our family to be as happy as possible.
Thank you Margie...I am trying to cultivate strategies that will allow me to find a few minutes or hours when I am able to find joy as that helps me recharge my batteries.
We all have things in our lives that test us....and my troubles may not be as serious as some other things that people are facing...so I must be grateful and count my blessings every day.
I was not sure if I should write about this situation...but it has become a really huge issue of which I am unable to do much of anything and I feel so powerless.
I am not divulging details to protect the family members involved...we all have things in life that test us.
Yes these little things are the glue! I would be unhinged if it were not for the "little things!" Thank you for your kind words...
XO
Resilience....I quite like that word...it reminds me of a saying about a woman and a teabag! "A woman is like a tea bag...you never know how strong she is until you pout her in hot water!" Eleanor Roosevelt
My goodness the support has been so overwhelming...and I have had mixed feelings about sharing this publicly...I am so grateful for the messages of support.
The parties involved are working to resolve this issue...but it will take time and I need to be patient and try hard not to let it rob me of all the joys in life...
Thank you Pammie...
Letting go is something that I struggle with...you are right about trying to enjoy life because what good am I to anyone if I am walking around glum like a sad sack!
You are dealing with a completely different situation...the loss of your husband would be far more painful...and my heart goes out to you.
I play bridge with several women who are widows and they talk a lot about their feelings of loneliness and have a much keener insight into how devastating their losses are...I hope you have the support of friends and family and that in time you will find some joyful activities in which you can partake and feel peace.
Dear Leslie, I am so sorry to hear that there are difficulties in your family. Thank you for mentioning the good strategies you have for getting through the troubled days - they are good reminders to us all. Your knitting is beautiful. Thank you for showing it. Keeping a good thought for you and yours. Sending you hugs, peace, and love.
Be kind to yourself and may you and your family find peace in this new year.
OH GOSH..............I am so SORRY to hear there is a problem a brewing!
STAY FOCUSED and BREATH DEEP.................
For you to mention but Not really Mention what it is tells me it HURTS!
BIG HUG,
XX
I have been thinking of you all day; sorry to hear that the last year was a hard one and that you are still undergoing troubles. Wish I had some words of wisdom, but all I can say is that you are not alone, and hard times cause us to grow in strength. Sending good cheer, Violet.
Hi Leslie, having faced what I can only guess is a similar problem, but if its not the same I would still choose to deal with it much more wisely than I did. I became so distraught that I made myself ill!! That was 4years ago and I am still not well and it was all of my own making.
On reflection everything sorted itself out given time and although not the resolution I would have hoped for, despite all the pain everyone except me has gone on to live their lives and are healthy and well. If I had to go through it all again I would be caring, sympathetic and loving but
NOT allow myself to be so emotionally involved. You have the right attitude, there is nothing you can do but look for the joy in every day, stay calm and the storm will pass as it always does. I look back and wish I had had your good sense. Losing sleep, worrying, feeling upset actually does nothing to help speed up the process, it goes its own inexorable way, so it is better to be the calm port in the storm because that helps everyone. Mindfullness is the key.
This too shall pass.
Warm regards, Carol in Australia
I join the commenters above who have eloquently expressed their heartfelt concern. Prayers for peace, strength, and love are coming from Southern California.
Charlene H.
My heart goes out to you, dear hostess. Your words and photos have been a balm to my soul ever since I discovered you about six months ago. You have demonstrated joy in ordinary things and a quiet strength that will rise up to sustain you going forward. Peace be with you. I'm sending prayers and positive thoughts across the strait. xo
I think it is the price of love. We care so much for the ones we love and even if it isn't up to us, we want to have it in our power to make things right for them. How many times I have wished for a magic wand. Everything does resolve, one way or another, it's the living through it that is a test. Love and a peaceful heart to you.
I can sense from your words just how deep this sadness is ... I wish I could give you a hug! Sending one with love.... I hope this situation soon resolves in a positive way. For now, you seem to be doing all that you are able, both for your family and yourself. Take care.
Thinking about you ...
Rosie
Dear Leslie, your blog brings so much gentle pleasure to read, you must now draw on that bank of goodwill you have created. Remember everything happens for a reason. Love and best wishes Jenny
I think about women whose husbands and sons went off to fight in the wars and wonder where they found their strength and being active seems like the right thing...baking bread, preserving food, making jam, mending, gardening, ironing, and home keeping. These daily chores help us maintain our perspective...and remind us to be living in the moment.
Readers have been emailing me with their personal stories and our family situation is not as dire as some...and in time it will resolve itself.
I do need to remember to breathe! I am not comfortable airing all the details at this point in time...perhaps after things have been settled...time will tell.
I keep thinking of others who struggle with far more devastating things and wonder how we manage to come through stronger and wiser...my grandmother lost a child at the age of 5 or 6 and I cannot imagine the pain and grief that she would have endured...I adored my grandmother...she was the most gentle, kind and caring woman.
Carol...I really value your comments...I hope that your health is improved and that you are giving yourself permission to be happy.
I appreciate your wise words and will try to adopt a more positive and supportive role...I know that I am miserable and do not like feeling this way...I miss my happy demeanour...I do want to be joyful...today I will look at this situation in a new way. Thank you.
XO
Charlene...the outpouring of support from readers is helping me evaluate my reactions and I will be consciously working hard at inviting more positivity into my daily round...it is not like me to be so unhappy...thank you.
Thank you for your thoughts Karen...we live in such a beautiful province and the scenery is spectacular...and I am so grateful to be able to soak in the magnificent views.
Writing about my feelings has been surprisingly therapeutic and the comments and emails from readers have been truly helpful.
Take care
If had a magic wand I would only use it for good deeds...living through the stormy patches of our lives is what shapes us...it makes us better people, we understand the human condition and are more empathetic...perhaps this is our lesson.
Rosie you are very perceptive and wise...
your kind words and wise advice are appreciated.
One of the comments that resonates with me is "This too shall pass."
The messages here on the blog and in my email have all been ones of support and understanding...some have shared their personal stories of loss and grief and family situations that are tragic and I have a renewed sense of perspective.
I will work to improve what I can and cultivate joy and perhaps our humble bungalow can be the safe haven for our family.
When I get too many problems on my plate, and feel overwhelmed, I remember what one of my bosses once said to me... "when there is an elephant in the room, tackle it one leg at a time". Similarly, if something is beyond your control, then the best course is not to agonize about it. If you cannot control it or do anything about it, then as my mother said "don't worry until you know you need to worry". Worry (even if there is cause to worry) will only stress you and be bad for you. Baking, knitting, going for a walk, tea, reading next spring's garden catalogs and dreaming about your flowers, all sound like a good plan. Above all, I love how you will "cultivate joy and perhaps [y]our humble bungalow can be the safe haven for [y]our family". Great plan. Everyone thinks Christmas is such a great holiday (and it is in many ways) but it also stresses people and sometimes such stressors push people to the edge, to say and do things they would never dream of otherwise. So for you to create your home as a safe haven is the very best plan of all. Prayers and blessings for you. Ann
Dear Hostess,I'm so sorry to hear that you are having some problems in your family and to feel your sadness.
You are such a kind person who radiates positive emotions and tranquility and I hope that it will help you and your family. There are good times and,unfortunately,there are bad times. I hope for the best solution
Hug,
Dottoressa
Thank you Ann,
The elephant in the room...one leg at a time...is a manageable strategy....sounds something that a boss might say to his staff.
Right now I am focusing on trying to live in the moment and not agonizing over the past or perseverating on the unknowns ahead.
One must experience pain and sadness if one is to recognize happiness and Joy...
Dear Leslie,
I'm sorry that life is difficult right now for you.
When I'm in the middle of the sadness and storms of life, taking care of myself is important. Sticking to my yoga practice, especially the deep breathing. Writing a thankfulness/gratitude list every day. Getting enough sleep.
I can't fix or control anyone else, only my own actions or reactions. And my action right now is to pray for you and your family.
~skye
That sounds like a great plan! I only ever heard the elephant comment made to me no-one else. There is a moment when f I am confronted by too many problems, I am paralyzed. I'm feeling intimidated today because I am reading the 400 page instruction manual for my camera... Tomorrow is the maiden voyage...
Great advice Skye,
You are wise to focus on self care during times of turmoil...I have dropped the ball in this area and am planning to remedy this...sleep has been problematic and I blame my worry and an overactive mind!
My emotional mood needs to be positive if I am to function optimally and help my family.
So sorry to hear that 2017 was a tough year for you. I hope that 2018 makes up for it!
I'm so sorry to read this, it breaks my heart. I know how devoted you are to your family and I so admire you for that. The flip side is that you will feel this pain in a very real way, please keep yourself well. You are a very loving and genuine person and your family is lucky to have you. I have a feeling you and your husband are rocks for your family and they rely on you perhaps more than you know.
Sending you love and strength during this difficult time XX
Sending you wishes for comfort and healing this new year. Hugs!
I'm reading this after commenting on your latest post. Life throws serious curves balls our way, sometimes. It's hard to feel helpless in the face of family difficulties. I always want to do something, anything, to fix it, but rarely can. Hugs.
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