I prefer to take my time accomplishing tasks
"needs must"
feels like the right phrase
to explain why we are living at this high level of activity.
The bungalow is scented with floral bouquets.
Chrysanthemums, lilies, hydrangeas, roses...
Flowers and food from friends offer up such care and comfort.
They are my go-to gifts when friends and family experience turmoil and loss.
We are on the receiving end this time and it does help...
Coffee has been a key player for me these past few weeks...
sleep and early mornings and a foggy brain have needed a little extra boost!
I've taken myself out for coffee in between meetings with the lawyer, the bank and various agencies.
It has been a full roster of appointments with little time to cook or prepare decent meals.
I have relied on the kindness of friends
and indulged in some easy meals.
The staple BBQ chicken and deli salads are becoming a fast favourite of mine.
Tea and an apple with cheese
at Mom's
after I staged the condo for the Real Estate Photographer.
Sitting in the quiet
listening to the ticking of the clock
surrounded by mom's things
offered up a wee bit of respite.
Mother Nature has been busy tending her garden.
Spring flowers are emerging from their winter slumber.
Parrot tulips for a wonderful friend who kindly made us a meal and has stood by us through thick and thin...
Thank you
XO
Today for the first time in many weeks I slept in...
the bed felt warm and cozy and I slowly got up
easing into a quiet morning
with no appointments until after lunch
I put the laundry in the washing machine
made a coffee
and opened up my dusty laptop to write this post.
It feels good to be alive
I feel such gratitude
and
although my heart aches for my Mom
I know that she would not want me to be maudlin for too long...
she was a sensible woman
resilient
strong
stylish
with a no nonsense approach to life.
So, in her honour, I am going to try to do my best...
moving ahead
I will cherish her and keep her memory alive in my heart.
Thanks MOM
XO
41 comments:
Such a lovely post. Thinking of you.
I'm glad you are finding some comfort at this time. But I also have to say 'that bag! ' It's gorgeous.
This is such a lovely photo of your Mom and Dad
Her memory would be forever in your heart and you are very devoted daughter
Good and committed friends are priceless,in good and ,especially,bad times.
Little things and rituals are valuable and calming
Take care
Dottoressa
Thank you Sheila, I know that you understand.
XO
That bag is a vintage Due Frateli leather purse. I fell in love with it when I spied it on the rack at a local thrift shop...it is very well made too and the leather is super soft...and it was a bargain!
Rituals and routines are soothing in times of stress...friends are such a gift and I am very fortunate to have such caring and kind ones in my circle.
Leslie, My condolences to you and your family. I love Henry Scott Holland's "Death is Nothing At All", especially "...whatever we were to each other, that we are still...." Brought me a lot of comfort when my mother died.
Clara
Dear Hostess
You are such a wonderful role model! And I understand that your mother also was a wonderful role model. Thank you, and do take care of yourself.
Helena from Sweden
Thank you for that reference, Clara. Today is the one year anniversary of the loss of my eldest son and while that poem brings many tears to my eyes, it also lends some comfort.
Thinking of you, Leslie, as you go through these difficult days. You are doIng the right thing - taking your time, taking care of yourself, doing what you need to do. I know your mom is proud.
Lovely post...I remember how you once mentioned that Chanel 5 was your Mother's signature scent. So fitting for such an elegant lady.
Take care Leslie ... you seem to be continuing life with grace, taking care of yourself and your family as well as doing "what needs to be done"
I think your mum would be proud ...
I hope all the many and at times difficult administrative procedures go smoothly for you.
It's good to know you have many supportive and caring friends.
Rosie
Ah yes, in two short weeks I will be finalizing the house, items, memories, and the final sale. It will benefit my stepfather in keeping him housed and comfortable in his nursing facility. I am thankful they planned well and were able to afford a quality place for care. Hugs to you.
Thinking of you and glad to hear you had a sleep in. Take care.
Suz from Vancouver
So many wonderful memories of a special person, your mother.
So many caring friends.
So much frustration with all the details that must be done.
So much reality of what your mother would want for you and your family.
It's never easy but you are dealing.
Thinking of you, Leslie. You are doing exactly what I am sure your
Mom would have wanted....moving ahead and treasuring the little things in life that make the journey that is life so special. Take good care of yourself and know that this Instagram friend is sending hugs and positive thoughts your way.
Those parrot tulips are quite beautiful. We gain such strength from routine. Your mum would be looking after you son I feel sure. It is true that those who are left must just soldier on. Take care of yourself and absorb all the good wishes from your many readers
A beautiful post, and a priceless picture of your beautiful mother. Your friends are precious indeed, and to receive their care in times of stress is a wonderful gift to be treasured. I am sorry to read you are already under the pressure of preparation for an estate sale; do continue to take care of yourself, as you so gracefully do. After ten months, I am still engaged in my father's Estate, and struggle at times with the process emotionally. Your daffodils are so cheerful and pretty, a real pick me up!
Such a beautiful post. Thank you so much for sharing your journey and thoughts with us.
What a lovely tribute to your mother - and o the kindness of friends. You continue to honour her with how you are dealing with everything. Take care.
I read your blog faithfully but I am not one to ever comment.
Your picture of the Chanel #5 bottle with your Mom and Dad brought
back so many memories of my Mom who passed last year. My Dad always
made sure she had a bottle and when she passed I found a very old
bottle with a little left at the bottom. I love to hold it up to
my noise and take in the scent that brings me close to my Mom. My
son passed last month and though I have not had the strength to start
going through his things I pray I will find something that I can
hold on to with a scent that he loved and will always keep him close.
Debbie
It moves one to tears...
Helena,
In times like these I look back to my Mothers' strength and how she road the waves of uncertainty with composure and grace.
I take my lead from her...she faced much adversity in her life and although she cried in private she put her best face forward and moved about her days with a determination not to let life defeat her spirit.
She wore Shalimar when I was very young and then switched to Chanel No.5...both powerful scents...neither of which I can wear because they are so her.
Mom had taken care of a lot of things well in advance of her demise...she was a clever woman. I am grateful that my sister and I are able to work as a team and whittle away at the list of jobs together.
That is a tough job you are working through...those details require so much energy. Good to know that your stepfather will be in a cozy place where he will receive the best of care.
XO
Sleep is so important for keeping us going...I have been so tired at bedtime too!
The sun coming out and the spring flowers are such a tonic...
such lovely words...thank you Julie!
Thank you Marilyn...she has left us with so many wonderful memories and experiences...besides the tears there are small joys in going through her things.
I so appreciate the comments that readers have shared here on the blog...they have given me comfort just knowing that I am not the first to go through losing a beloved mother.
It takes time to get these things done...the bulk of our work has been dealt with and now the rest can be worked through at a slower pace.
Hope that upon completion of your father's estate that it will bring you a sense of closure.
Thank you for "being here"...
I hope that she knows...I'd like to think that she is with me on this journey...I hold her memory so very close to my heart.
Debbie,
Your loss must be very fresh and raw too...take your time and keep those things that mean the most to you. I kept a few of mom's things but they are not of any value...just sentimental tokens...when I use them I will think of her.
This was a lovely post, and it's nice to know that you have been showered with so much love and care after losing your Mom. Louise Penny has started a new discussion around the cultural inspirations for her books. For her first book, Still Life, the inspiration was C.S. Lewis's book Surprised by Joy. My wish for you is you would continue to be surprised by joy in the midst of your grief. Here's the link to the Gamache series discussion if you are interested. I know you are a fellow fan of her books. http://gamacheseries.com/still-life-surprised-by-joy/
One day at a time, one step at a time and you will get there. The wonderful memories you have of your mother will heal you in time but do not hurry.
I will look forward to reading more of those posts from Louise Penny...I simply adore her characters and writing. I would love to experience Joy everyday...
I am sure that is true...we can now slow down and just take it a day at a time.
BEAUTIFUL............XX
You are honoring your mother well. My mother died last August and I remember "doing the next thing". Dad came to live with us and I continue in that mode. It actually becomes a very simple life as I eliminate the unessential and concentrate on what "is" - making it the best I can. I'm finding much joy and fulfillment in living well in the present.
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