Week two...

Life has been moving at a fast pace here in The Humble Bungalow.
I prefer to take my time accomplishing tasks
"needs must"
feels like the right phrase
to explain why we are living at this high level of activity.

The bungalow is scented with floral bouquets.

Chrysanthemums, lilies, hydrangeas, roses...

Flowers and food from friends offer up such care and comfort.

They are my go-to gifts when friends and family experience turmoil and loss.

We are on the receiving end this time and it does help...

Coffee has been a key player for me these past few weeks...

sleep and early mornings and a foggy brain have needed a little extra boost!

I've taken myself out for coffee in between meetings with the lawyer, the bank and various agencies.

It has been a full roster of appointments with little time to cook or prepare decent meals.

I have relied on the kindness of friends

and indulged in some easy meals.

The staple BBQ chicken and deli salads are becoming a fast favourite of mine.

Tea and an apple with cheese 

at Mom's 

after I staged the condo for the Real Estate Photographer.

Sitting in the quiet 

listening to the ticking of the clock

surrounded by mom's things

offered up a wee bit of respite.

Mother Nature has been busy tending her garden.

Spring flowers are emerging from their winter slumber.

Parrot tulips for a wonderful friend who kindly made us a meal and has stood by us through thick and thin...

Thank you

XO

Today for the first time in many weeks I slept in...

the bed felt warm and cozy and I slowly got up

easing into a quiet morning

with no appointments until after lunch

I put the laundry in the washing machine

made a coffee

and opened up my dusty laptop to write this post.

It feels good to be alive

I feel such gratitude

and 

although my heart aches for my Mom

I know that she would not want me to be maudlin for too long...

she was a sensible woman

resilient

strong

stylish

with a no nonsense approach to life.

So, in her honour, I am going to try to do my best...

moving ahead

 I will cherish her and keep her memory alive in my heart.

Thanks MOM

XO

Week one....

It's been a week since Mom passed away.

Lots of things to do and little time for the blog

or for commenting 

on all your wonderful stories 

that you have so kindly shared

 about your experiences with death of loved ones...

mostly our Mothers.

Mother 

a picture taken at Christmas 

on our annual visit to Laurel Point

to view the decorated gingerbread houses.

We are using this for her obituary 

which will be published in the newspaper this weekend.

Beautiful bouquets in The Humble Bungalow.

This one, is from our dear friends in France.

It brought tears to my eyes when I read the card.

XO

Beauty abounds...

I adore green and white flowers.

I was home when these arrived and was able to sit and chat for a few minutes

with the special couple who brought them.

XO

Tulips from the bridge ladies.

XO

Members of our "adopted family" brought these!

XO

The grandchildren...

XO

The days are full and busy.

So many details to attend to and lots of phone calls to make.

Lawyers appointments

family to call

sorting

cleaning

Trying to keep things simple means not stressing about the "little things"

like cooking and eating WW friendly foods right now!

Something has to go out the window...

time for some comfort food.

Croissant for breakfast...

flaky and buttery

eaten slowly...

the flakes fluttering down onto the plate moistened by tears.

A skinny latte

with a little heart to start the day...

I will post your comments as they come in and please know that I appreciate and read each and every one.

At this demanding time 

I am unable tor respond individually to your comments.

I humbly apologize

but I think you'll understand.

Hope that you have a lovely weekend.

XO

Grieving ~ slowly putting one foot in front of the other...

Taking things slow...
from minute to minute
as the clock ticks and they turn into hours

Losing Mom, has so far, been the most painful thing I have ever experienced.
It has only a few days since she passed,
but I can already tell that this is a major life altering event,
so significant,
that it is difficult to put into words.

Tears fall freely
there's a lump in my throat that does not seem to go away...

I've been eating comfort food, drinking gin and tonics

and have stopped counting WW points.

I have considered not getting dressed and staying my pj's all day...

But instead, I get up have a cafe creme

hop in the shower

put on my make up

and

head over to Mom's condo to sort through her things.

there is some comfort in action and busyness

to be in Mom's condo 

surrounded by her things 

feels like home

but when I look toward her chair 

she is not there...

my heart aches

deeply

I notice that the garden is awakening from its winter slumber

right on cue as it does every year at this time.

The snowdrops are blooming.

Sunny yellow daffodils

Moistened by the rain

Nature reminds me of the cycles of life

beginnings

endings

Life goes on...

as surely as the spring bulbs open

the 

flowers appear

taking each day

each minute

to pause

reflect

thinking of Mom

and all she has done

to make our lives so special

her strength, wisdom, kindness and grace

will help guide me

as I walk along this painful path of grief

in her honour

I will put one foot in front of the other

move forward

slowly

one step at a time.

I found this card in mothers desk drawer...

She kept this card

 there were no others...

I wept when I opened the card

with tears rolling down my cheeks

 a moment in the silence

grieving

alone

this card is one of the treasures that I will keep 

the message so close to my heart 

in memory 

of my wonderful mom

Thank you for all your comments on the previous post.

I am overwhelmed by your kind and supportive thoughts

they mean a lot 

especially at a time like this...

Saying goodbye...

It has been a difficult two weeks...

Mom was diagnosed with lung cancer 

which had metastasized into her lymphatic system.

She went down hill pretty fast.

 My sister and I took care of her in her home 

until we could no longer provide the comfort that she required 

We had her moved into Hospice where she got excellent care 

from a staff that specialize in end of life treatment.

It has been a very emotionally charged time for all of our family.

I had to dig very deep to find strength and energy...

On the wall in mom's room at Hospice

an inspiring reminder...

Yesterday, 

on my 62nd birthday

 Mom slipped away...

She died with dignity

and is now free from pain and suffering.

She leaves a huge hole in our lives and will be missed...

French themed goodies starting with My Stylish French Box...

Paris and the quaint villages of southern France have a powerful hold on me...
I have so many fabulous memories from my trip.

When life gets rocky I try to be proactive and balance the stress with some self care "tools" that I have practised over the years...
one of which is to reflect on better days,
focusing on the sweet snippets and highlights from happier days.

My travel photos instantly transport me back to those idyllic weeks in France.
Blogs also help to keep me connected...

Sharon Santoni's lovely blog French Country Home  has been one of my favourites for many years. When Sharon announced that she was writing a book I ordered mine before it had been printed...
Recently I learned that she was offering a box of carefully curated French items and I ordered my subscription as soon as I heard that she would deliver to Canada.

My Stylish French Box arrived this week and it was the highlight of my day.
The packaging is exquisite and each item is carefully wrapped...

I carefully and slowly unwrapped each item...and kept saying to my husband how excited I felt...

everything is so beautiful.

satin ribbon bow

tissue

hand printed tags

I love the extra touches that Sharon has put into the presentation of the box.

Fragonard soaps

(I went to the Fragonard museum when I was in Paris.)

a lovely hand made porcelain cup

which Mr. HB suggested that I could use for my morning espresso

Cire Trudon candle

There were other delightful treasures...

a journal, book, pencils, antique glasses and a small soap

These treats could not have come at a better time.

 I have been very busy

 helping Mother navigate her journey with terminal cancer.

Her diagnosis was recent and came as a shock to us all.

Mom had breast cancer 10 years ago in the same area where this lung cancer has presented itself and it has spread to her lymph system and she has pain.

I have cancelled all my commitments for the time being as I want to spend my time with her...

My sister and I received a bit of respite this weekend for the overnights which is a blessing as listening for her call and waking her for her pain meds every 4 hours does not make for a restful night.

Its such an emotional experience 

my heart goes out to those of you who have traveled this path before...

I have a whole new respect for caregivers

I will try and post again in a few days as I do love writing this blog.

Hellebore in a hand picked garden grown bouquet that my BFF brought to Mom.

Friends and Family have been super supportive 

I am so grateful...

THANK YOU ALL!

~ Be Well and Be Kind ~