Are you ready for the Festive Season?
No matter how hard we try to make Christmas special
we cannot be prepared or predict what might happen.
Christmas has always been one of my favourite holidays.
Family, friends, giving to others, baking, bright lights and song.
It's never been a picture postcard storybook Christmas
but that is what makes it special
we try
but
because we are human things can go sideways...
This past weekend we went over to the cottage and rode on the Salish Orca.
(our regular ferry is out for annual maintenance)
While we were driving onto the ferry my husband's cellphone rang
it was the nurse from the care home.
Mr. HB's mom, who is 100, took a turn.
The next morning
my husband boarded an early ferry and returned to town...
his mother passed away within a few minutes after he arrived.
We have lost our beloved matriarch
the last of the long lived Scottish family.
It is the end of an era...
Elaine lead a long and rich life
she was a spunky woman,
"a force to be reckoned with"
her gifts and talents were many
she will be missed by all of us.
I feel blessed to have met her when I was fifteen
she taught me so much...
she was generous with her time, fiercely loyal to her family,
she shared so many wonderful things with all of us
her tried and true recipes
boat skills, crocheting, card games,
how to live within a budget
everything from hostessing tips to the full on turkey feast.
She will be missed...
Fortunately we all have many years of great memories to recall.
I am confident that they will help comfort and sustain us
in the days and weeks ahead.
I made a pasta dinner for my husbands' return to the island.
I knew that he would need a warm hug and a hot meal.
We rely on comfort food to help soothe us in times of distress.
We hunkered down in the cottage as the skies grew dark and ominous...
The weekend weather was very stormy...
rain pelting sideways with powerful gusty winds
the seas churned up with choppy waves covered in white caps.
I started reading this new book by Beatrice Colin...
it is set in Paris around the time that the Eiffel Tower was under construction.
We spent most days quietly thinking of her
reminding each other of our favourite memories.
Laughing and weeping.
We were cozy and warmed by the fire
while outside the storms raged on...
We ventured out when there was a break in the rain...
for a welcome breath of fresh salty air.
We went to the Chocolate Shop where Mr. HB enjoyed a rich hot chocolate
I opted for a salted caramel mocha...
I've never tasted one before today!
(it was so tasty!)
I purchsed some of their delicious chocolates for a few people on our Christmas list.
Dessert in a mug.
Looking to the light...
Holding fast to the memories of Christmases past
when all our loved ones were gathered...
several generations at the tables
wearing our paper hats from the Xmas crackers
an older family member saying grace
before
we dined on turkey and all the trimmings.
This year there are many empty chairs...
we will gather around
in their memory
and
toast to them.
Wishing you a Very Happy Holiday Season.
~ Be Well and Be Kind ~
60 comments:
Such a fine post Leslie and I send my heartfelt condolences on the loss of your mother in law. I don't think I need to tell you how fortunate you were to have her as your mother in law. Not all of us have the same experience. I hope you and your family have a meaningful holiday season, filled with stories about your husband's mother and other remembrances.
So sorry to hear of the loss of your dear mother in law; what a splendid age to reach 100. Your Christmas this year will be tinged with sadness, but also happy memories as you remember a lovely mother and grandmother. Those dark skies and wind sound ominous, but thankfully you had a break and what better than a delicious hot drink.
Loss is so hard but seems much more during a holiday season. Wishing you well as you remember and weep, laugh and hold each other. Blessings to you. Chy
This is a lovely tribute to your mother-in-law, Leslie, and a good summary of how to care for yourself and other grieving loved ones. Nourishing food for the body, the solace of nature and the comfort of shared memories and loss for the heart and soul. Hugs, Lorrie
At 66, I am now the matriarch on my mother's side of the family. How, oh how did that ever happen????
Please accept my condolences on the loss of your mother in law. And thank you for your beautiful post.
It is difficult to lose a parent. Your mother-in-law sounds as though she contributed greatly to your life. Take care of yourself and your family during this sad time.
It is so hard to loose a loved one, no matter what the age. She must have had a wonderful and very eventful life leaving you with many, many, memories. Still the emptiness is hard to fill. My thoughts and sympathy are with you.
I'm so sorry to hear of your loss,especially during this time of year-my condolences to you,your husband and your family
Taking a retreat in your lovely cottage,taking some time for yourself and memories ,was a good idea
Such a lovely post,a dedication to her
All the best
Dottoressa
Such beautiful, poised and powerful words and images, Leslie. I am so very sorry for your family's loss. Sending you love and a hug from Australia.
SSG xxx
My heart goes out to you and your husband on the loss of his mother. While it's never surprising when somebody dies at age 100 (as my grandma did, and my mom was pretty close), it's still hard. At some point, such people start to seem immortal, but alas they aren't.
I am glad she was able to wait until he arrived before she left. She wasn't alone.
There is much to rejoice in such a long life well-lived.
May her memory be for a blessing -- as she was to her family and friends during a long, full life.
We recently experienced a very tough, though not unexpected, loss in our family and we gathered round in much the same way: comfort food, when we felt like eating, sharing stories and brining out the old photo albums, and staying comfy indoors.
Wishing you a lovely, meaningful Christmas.
What a beautiful post Leslie. My condolences to your family and you were very fortunate to have had such a wonderful mother in law. I know you'll miss her and your own mom very much during the holidays in particular. xo
May I add my condolences on your loss - but I must say, you have given her a lovely send off with such a fine tribute.
My sister lost her father-in-law yesterday - while not quite 100 he had reached his late 80's, his health had declined markedly in the past few weeks and he had told them that he was ready to go. While it will be a quieter Christmas for them they are content in knowing that he is no longer in pain and that he was in his own home and with family when he passed.
Such a beautifully written tribute... you truly had a mother-in-love. May you, your husband, and family be comforted and strengthened by sweet memories of a life well lived.
Sending deepest sympathy on the loss of your mother in law. May your fond memories of shared good times carry you. Memories are wonderful, especially of a life well lived. My thoughts are with you. Susan
It’s hard when a parent passes, no matter the age. Laughing and weeping is a very joyful way to remember a loved one. Sharing comfort foods, memories and stories , thank you so much for sharing with us.
Suz from Vancouver
So sorry about your mother-in-law. No matter how long the life the loss comes hard. My condolences to you all.
I am sorry for your family's loss. She sounds like she was a wonderful lady that left quite a legacy.
This post reminded me so much of my darling Dad’s passing and the fact that your husband just made it before his Mum passed.
My dear Dad took a turn when we were overseas and we immediately made arrangements to get back home - we made it with minutes to spare. We got to the Hospital at 11.40pm and Dad passed at 11.43pm - it was like he was waiting for us, just like your hubby’s Mum
Someone once told me you never get over the loss of a parent - you simply learn to life with it and I think this is so true.
Memories will sustain you in the times ahead.
So sorry for your loss! It's a blessing that your husband arrived in time for the passing, did he know that it was very close when he went over? Warm Wishes, Emily
So sorry for your loss of your mother in law Leslie. One Hundred is indeed a milestone. She will live on through the many memories that your family share. Your husband was fortunate to have had his mother in his life for such a long time.
Ali
Beautiful post...thank you for sharing...family is so important- as you have so aptly reminded us. Condolences to you and your husband. Wishing you warm and happy memories at this holiday time. Bridget
What a sad, but lovely post. I am so sorry to hear of the death of your Mother-In-Law. What a wonderful full life she had. You and your husband have my deepest sympathy. Prayers are being sent up for you both.
Oh Leslie, I feel for you. This has been a tough year. I'd love to learn more about your mother in law. Maybe some of her recipes. This will be a difficult holiday season for you. But you and your husband are strong and your children and grandchildren will be there for you.
What a lovely tribute to your mother-in-law, Leslie. Deepest condolences to you and your family.
I think your mother in law found peace in knowing she leaves her son in the embrace of a loving wife and family. It reminds me to reach out to the people in my circle who don't have that closeness. Please accept my condonlences. As a fellow 60 something, I am also coming to grips with the now empty chairs.
Leslie, I am sad at your family's loss. We have had three elderly family members pass (lovely mother-in-law included) since the end of September. I am going to visiting hours in a few hours and the funeral is tomorrow for the latest. While we are overwhelmingly sad, like you we can see the blessings of lives lived well. I hope I have become a kinder person as a result of pondering loss and how important it is to tell the important people in my life, whether family, friends, colleagues, and students that I care for and about them. Carol in VT
The post almost wrote itself, I found it flowed almost without effort...
I do appreciate that my MIL and I had a positive relationship and know how fortunate we have been to have her in our lives for so many years.
She was almost 101 which amazes me...the storms are still raging and the ferries from Victoria to the mainland have been shut down! It sounds like winter has set in with a vengance!
Thank you Chy,
the holidays evoke many memories that remind us of our lost loved ones.
We toast to those no longer with us on these occasions.
Thank you Lorrie.
XO
We are now among the elders in our family too!
I think it's our age...my husband is 65 and I am 63.
Thank you Wendy...
when I started to write the post I wasn't sure what I would say but once i got started the words all fell into place.
My MIL was a great role model...she was really easy to be with...she had a zest for life, a snese of humour and she was really grounded. I feel so honoured to have been in her company for so many years.
Oh she was the centre of our immediate family and kept us all well fed and cared for...she did so much for so many. We will never forget all the fun times we shared.
Thank you Dottoressa for your kind words, I appreciate you taking the time to share them with me.
We were very fortunate to have been able to spend a few days away at the cottage...we are back home and have lots of things to do.
I am pacing myself as the festive season is in full swing!
Thank you SSG...
hope you have a lovely Christmas.
XO
I have heard so many people in the last stage of dying wait until they are visited by their loved ones...my husband was fortunate that he made it in time and she was not alone...it was time for her to pass, and she did so peacefully without trauma.
There is something to be said about family gathered together with a meal sharing their memories...its comforting in many ways.
Sorry to hear that you have recently experienced a similar loss.
Wishing you a wonderful holiday.
We will miss those who are no longer with us.
As we sit down to dinner we will honour them by recalling and sharing some of the Christmas stories from seasons past. The holidays feel so different now...we have to make our own memories and create some new family traditions.
It is so difficult to watch someone in distress...to know that they are now free from pain and at peace is consoling.
Both my mom and dad suffered at the end of their life and I found it a challenge to sit by and watch, not able to do much to ease their discomfort.
Wishing you a joyous and peaceful holiday season Margie.
Oh I love the M-I-Love...I have never heard that before...it has put a smile on my face and for that Susan I thank you!
Susan...we are finding comfort in those many wonderful memories.
Hope you have a lovely holiday.
Hi Suz,
Cards, phone calls, and flowers have been arriving in our home from firends and family. The obituary will be published in the paper this weekend, my husband wrote a lovely tribute. Life is full and at this busy time of year...
We watched the winter pagent at the grandchildrens' school last night and we plan to go to the Butchart Gardens to see the lights. I plan on doing some baking and meeting some dear forends for a ladies lunch next week.
Enjoy the festive season.
Thank you for those kind words Maggie.
The longer the life the more memories we can hold onto...our hearts are full though we are in mourning.
Wishing you a Merry Christmas
She was a bright light in our lives...we will never forget her.
Good that you made it in time...your father probably waited to pass until you got there. I have heard similar stories like yours.
It happened that way with my MIL but in was about a half hour.
Memories keep them close to our hearts...
The nurse on the phone said that she was failing so my husband took an early morning ferry and drove into town and within about a half hour she had slipped away.
It was good that he was able to be at her side.
She was almost 101, just a few months short...she is at peace.
Our family have been very blessed to have her in our lives for so long...although we mourn will remind ourselves of her guiding force and spirit.
There will be many shared stories within our family this holiday season.
Hope that you have a wonderful and joyous holiday Bridget.
She was fortunate to have a "wonderful life" full of adventures, family, friends, and travels....it really is the end of an era in so many ways. We will miss her especially during the holidays, when we gathered together to enjoy food and share in each others company.
Wishing you a happy holiday.
Thank you Sandra!
Sharing some of her recipes might be a fun thing to do in her honour!
We will have a quieter Christmas this year...we are strong and resilient and have good friends and family close by to lean on.
Jeaninne I appreciate your comments...I was hoping that the post would convey how much of an important person she was for all of us.
My cousin wrote on my FB post that she feels those empty chairs especially at Christmas and on holidays.
Reaching out to your friends sounds like a kind and generous thing to focus on especially during the holidays when we tend to remember the loved ones of Christmases past.
Losing loved ones and dealing with death really teaches us many valuable lessons.
The funeral home gave us some seeds...forget me nots, which we will plant them this spring and watch them grow.
Hope that your family can support each other through your grief...thinking of you.
XO
My deepest sympathy.
Kim
My deepest condolences to you and your husband. Your mother-in-law sounds like she was an amazing person and will be missed.
I am sorry for the loss of your mother-in-law and your husband's mother. This will be the third Christmas without my mother and mother-in-law as they died within months of each other. I miss them dearly but cherish my memories as I know you do. Sympathy and blessings to you and your husband.
Hello Hostess, a very busy and sad time for you and your family for the loss of your mother-in-law. I love reading what your wrote about her. Great memories and stories...since you've known her as a teen. I loved my mother-in-law, not because she was perfect but because she raised a wonderful human being who became my husband. I'm sure you feel the same about your mother-in-law. My condolences to you and your husband. It will be amissed not to wish you a Christmas filled with love and hope. xxxAmelia
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