Friday, March 10, 2017

Week one....

It's been a week since Mom passed away.

Lots of things to do and little time for the blog
or for commenting 
on all your wonderful stories 
that you have so kindly shared
 about your experiences with death of loved ones...
mostly our Mothers.


Mother 
a picture taken at Christmas 
on our annual visit to Laurel Point
to view the decorated gingerbread houses.
We are using this for her obituary 
which will be published in the newspaper this weekend.


Beautiful bouquets in The Humble Bungalow.


This one, is from our dear friends in France.
It brought tears to my eyes when I read the card.
XO


Beauty abounds...
I adore green and white flowers.

I was home when these arrived and was able to sit and chat for a few minutes
with the special couple who brought them.
XO


Tulips from the bridge ladies.
XO


Members of our "adopted family" brought these!
XO


The grandchildren...
XO


The days are full and busy.
So many details to attend to and lots of phone calls to make.
Lawyers appointments
family to call
sorting
cleaning

Trying to keep things simple means not stressing about the "little things"
like cooking and eating WW friendly foods right now!

Something has to go out the window...
time for some comfort food.

Croissant for breakfast...
flaky and buttery
eaten slowly...
the flakes fluttering down onto the plate moistened by tears.


A skinny latte
with a little heart to start the day...

I will post your comments as they come in and please know that I appreciate and read each and every one.

At this demanding time 
I am unable tor respond individually to your comments.
I humbly apologize
but I think you'll understand.

Hope that you have a lovely weekend.
XO

Tuesday, March 7, 2017

Grieving ~ slowly putting one foot in front of the other...

Taking things slow...
from minute to minute
as the clock ticks and they turn into hours


Losing Mom, has so far, been the most painful thing I have ever experienced.
It has only a few days since she passed,
but I can already tell that this is a major life altering event,
so significant,
that it is difficult to put into words.

Tears fall freely
there's a lump in my throat that does not seem to go away...


I've been eating comfort food, drinking gin and tonics
and have stopped counting WW points.


I have considered not getting dressed and staying my pj's all day...


But instead, I get up have a cafe creme
hop in the shower
put on my make up
and
head over to Mom's condo to sort through her things.

there is some comfort in action and busyness

to be in Mom's condo 
surrounded by her things 
feels like home
but when I look toward her chair 
she is not there...

my heart aches
deeply


I notice that the garden is awakening from its winter slumber
right on cue as it does every year at this time.


The snowdrops are blooming.


Sunny yellow daffodils


Moistened by the rain

Nature reminds me of the cycles of life

beginnings

endings


Life goes on...

as surely as the spring bulbs open
the 
flowers appear

taking each day
each minute
to pause
reflect

thinking of Mom
and all she has done
to make our lives so special

her strength, wisdom, kindness and grace
will help guide me
as I walk along this painful path of grief

in her honour
I will put one foot in front of the other
move forward
slowly
one step at a time.


I found this card in mothers desk drawer...


She kept this card
 there were no others...

I wept when I opened the card
with tears rolling down my cheeks
 a moment in the silence
grieving
alone

this card is one of the treasures that I will keep 
the message so close to my heart 
in memory 
of my wonderful mom


Thank you for all your comments on the previous post.
I am overwhelmed by your kind and supportive thoughts
they mean a lot 
especially at a time like this...


Saturday, March 4, 2017

Saying goodbye...


It has been a difficult two weeks...


Mom was diagnosed with lung cancer 
which had metastasized into her lymphatic system.
She went down hill pretty fast.

 My sister and I took care of her in her home 
until we could no longer provide the comfort that she required 
We had her moved into Hospice where she got excellent care 
from a staff that specialize in end of life treatment.


It has been a very emotionally charged time for all of our family.


I had to dig very deep to find strength and energy...


On the wall in mom's room at Hospice
an inspiring reminder...


Yesterday, 
on my 62nd birthday
 Mom slipped away...


She died with dignity
and is now free from pain and suffering.

She leaves a huge hole in our lives and will be missed...

Saturday, February 25, 2017

French themed goodies starting with My Stylish French Box...

Paris and the quaint villages of southern France have a powerful hold on me...
I have so many fabulous memories from my trip.

When life gets rocky I try to be proactive and balance the stress with some self care "tools" that I have practised over the years...
one of which is to reflect on better days,
focusing on the sweet snippets and highlights from happier days.

My travel photos instantly transport me back to those idyllic weeks in France.
Blogs also help to keep me connected...

Sharon Santoni's lovely blog French Country Home  has been one of my favourites for many years. When Sharon announced that she was writing a book I ordered mine before it had been printed...
Recently I learned that she was offering a box of carefully curated French items and I ordered my subscription as soon as I heard that she would deliver to Canada.

My Stylish French Box arrived this week and it was the highlight of my day.
The packaging is exquisite and each item is carefully wrapped...


I carefully and slowly unwrapped each item...and kept saying to my husband how excited I felt...
everything is so beautiful.


satin ribbon bow
tissue


hand printed tags


I love the extra touches that Sharon has put into the presentation of the box.


Fragonard soaps
(I went to the Fragonard museum when I was in Paris.)


a lovely hand made porcelain cup
which Mr. HB suggested that I could use for my morning espresso


Cire Trudon candle

There were other delightful treasures...
a journal, book, pencils, antique glasses and a small soap

These treats could not have come at a better time.

 I have been very busy
 helping Mother navigate her journey with terminal cancer.
Her diagnosis was recent and came as a shock to us all.
Mom had breast cancer 10 years ago in the same area where this lung cancer has presented itself and it has spread to her lymph system and she has pain.

I have cancelled all my commitments for the time being as I want to spend my time with her...

My sister and I received a bit of respite this weekend for the overnights which is a blessing as listening for her call and waking her for her pain meds every 4 hours does not make for a restful night.

Its such an emotional experience 
my heart goes out to those of you who have traveled this path before...
I have a whole new respect for caregivers

I will try and post again in a few days as I do love writing this blog.


Hellebore in a hand picked garden grown bouquet that my BFF brought to Mom.
Friends and Family have been super supportive 
I am so grateful...

THANK YOU ALL!


~ Be Well and Be Kind ~

Wednesday, February 22, 2017

Thoughts on Mom and a peek inside the closet...

I started writing this post before I found out that Mother had cancer and I am immersed in her care giving with little time for anything else...

 a little window of opportunity and escape presented itself this morning 
so I took the opportunity to edit and share it with you today.

My days are filled with ups and downs
oodles of tears
interspersed with laughter
as
Mother is telling me stories of her childhood 

her life as a nursing student at the Catholic Hospital
snippets of trips that she took with my Father
she is sharing a side of herself that she has never before revealed
it is quite a gift
and I am so grateful for this opportunity
to be at her side.

Despite her pain we find ourselves laughing
and there is a lot of hand holding
as we sip
many cups of tea throughout the day

I knit to keep my hands busy while she sleeps...
there in the silence
 memories and thoughts bubble up
there is a huge lump in my throat
and the realization that Mom is on her way...
she is calling the shots and is very much in control of her demise...

Mom has 4 closets full of beautiful clothes...
she loves fashion and has always been a stylish dresser.


Here is our
Teeny tiny closet
workout wear is interspersed with everyday basics.

After posting about Tees,
 I received several emails from readers who wanted to see more posts on clothes and my wardrobe.

I pine for a better, more organized closet and fortunately it is in the plans.
Just when it will happen
I am not sure,
when we redecorate our bedroom 
the closet will be completely redesigned.

Basic Winter Everyday Wardrobe
(does not include evening or special occasion attire)


Two shirts
crisp white shirt by Northern Reflections 
blue Tencel Nine West


2 skirts
black M.I.K.O knit 
grey Kenar boiled wool 

I wear skirts a lot more after I bought the new thicker Hue tights.


Part Two simple black wool sweater 


Bamboo dress Blue Sky 
which can also be worn with footless tights


3 tops
black and white patterns and stripes
Bianca Nygard V neck asymmetrical pattern 
Lands End tunic top 
Betty Barclay stripe 


black Style and Co. top 


these pants look dreadful 
hanging here 
 they look much better on

grey knit pants 
black knit pants 


vintage leather vest 
black cut velvet Nygard pants 

You can see that the basics are covered
black and grey items make up the bulk of my Fall and Winter wardrobe.
Most garments are separates and are worn with many other pieces.

I don't "need" more clothing...

I replace garments when they are worn out, which is usually very few years.
When one has fewer items in rotation the clothes actually do wear out.

Washing garments inside out on the gentle cycle, 
then carefully hanging them to dry does prolong their life.

What colours do you like to wear?

Is your wardrobe big or small?

I will not have time to respond to all your comments 
but I will read each and every one.

Thank you for stopping by The Humble Bungalow Blog.


~ Be Well and Be Kind ~